Snippets of life
by peanutbutter.waffle
Summary: He can feel his heart pounding with so much longing to have her here beside him, it doesn't make anything easier to know she wants to be here too. - This is the story of two lives finally becoming one. (T/Z)
1. A is for Askew

_Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous that's what you are._

 _Note: Was listening to Not Meant To Be by Theory of A Deadman and was getting teary eyed because it made me think of Tony and Ziva do not, I repeat Do Not listen to it and think of Tiva. Very bad idea. Anyways, I was struggling with writing one of the casefics that came to my mind so I wrote this because it will help me a lot with writing lengthy stories there will be twenty-six chapters in this and if there just so happens to be another fanfiction using the same words, I apologize for I haven't read any alphabet stories so...This is also AU, Ziva never left._

* * *

. A is for Askew .

His apartment is huge. Something that wouldn't typically bother him, especially since it is currently being funded by the government since he was transferred rather quickly, but the vastness is a reminder of just how alone he is. He had to leave everyone, only got a day to decide his fate and everyone told him to go as if he didn't even matter to them. So he went and regrets the choice greatly.

There's a wound in his brain where some geek should be rambling along with nonsense, the back of his skull doesn't bare the pain of a head slap, his ears aren't being talked off by a goth or from absorbing too much of a medical examiner's history, and their is a hole in his heart where a certain Israeli isn't teasing him profusely. He is lonely, which is so askew. He has so much headed for him in this busy city where a serial killer is on the lose, he has so much in making a great name for himself now that he is no longer under Gibbs' shadow. He has so much before him, but far too much behind back in Washington.

He needs his team.

 _..._

The rest of the day goes on with him unpacking, first his bathroom supplies so that he can shower and then his suits that are all wrinkly and could use a good time at the dry cleaner's. He decides to order take out even if he isn't starved, his first day is tomorrow and he can't make a terrible impression. He is curious about his new team, supposedly two agents...a Malcolm Cook and Jane Finny, great agents who have both been on other team's but nothing amounting to anything lengthy. Both are young, only in their mid-thirties and will in no doubt point out his age a couple of times, if he decides to be the ever so kind boss.

He hasn't decided the kind of boss he wants to be. Should he use head-slaps? Should he yell? Should he be nice? Keep paperclips on hand? Should he call them probie? Make fun of them? Pick fights?

He barely touches his dinner, instead he logs on his computer and searches aimlessly through google about what type of boss he should be, mostly getting mentions that he should be himself. The problem? He has no clue who he is. DiNozzo, is the man who is childish, hits on women - not in two years -, makes movie quotes, and fights with his coworkers. Tony is the kind one, the one only a few people have really gotten to know.

He scratches his stubble, contemplates getting off and trying to get some sleep when he spies "ninjagirl25" hop online. A smile graces his features as he requests a video chat and almost immediately he sees her face pop onto the screen with her own wide smile.

"Hello." Ziva greets him, running a hand through her curls. He can tell she's in her bedroom, seated on her bed wrapped in her white sheets, a coffee mug - most likely filled with tea - sits on the bedside table beside her, but all he truly sees are those beautiful eyes and not to mention the white tank top that hugs tightly against her breasts.

"Well, Hi." He greets in turn, flashing her his wide DiNozzo grin. They are miles apart, but suddenly he feels so close to home."What are you doing up so early?" He jibes, not at all surprised when she fires back with:

"What are you doing up so late?" She smiles when she says it though and he can feel his heart pounding with so much longing to have her here beside him, it doesn't make anything easier to know she wants to be here too.

"Trying to figure out what kind of boss I want to be." They stopped being dishonest two years ago and he sees no reason to lie to her now, in fact she'll probably offer him some advice in the matter. As soon as her mouth begins to open he leans back, taking the laptop in his lap and tilting the screen up slightly so that he can get a better view of her.

"You will be the best boss, Tony. Have a little confidence in yourself, I have seen you in action before." He watches her bite down on her bottom lip as if remembering that time almost, in fact relatively close as in a year away to a being decade now. "I miss you." She says breathlessly, her gaze falling towards something on the bed. "A lot."

"I miss you too, sweet cheeks. I'll be home soon." He adds the last part after a moment of hesitation because the truth he doesn't know if he will be home so soon, this serial killer could prove to be a huge problem if not caught quickly... it could take months before he could get home.

"Damn." He hears her curse as she looks at her phone. "All I ask is for one night, I have to go Tony. It is Gibbs." She frowns, her hand reaching out as if she would be placing an affection touch on his cheek but there is a screen blocking her from doing such so instead she just runs her hand along the spot that would be his cheek, a saddened smile on her face. "I will call you when I get the chance."

"I look forward to it." He smiles, reaching out to rest his palm against the screen where hers still lingers. "Take care of yourself."

"You too." She looks as if she is about to add something, but then the screen goes dark and he can practically hear the frustrated war between Gibbs and her.

Sighing, he flips off the laptop and saunters to the master bed, flopping down without a seconds thought. He would love nothing more than to have her here, to finally have the conversation they have been so skillfully working towards and yes it's taken them a decade to finally get to this point in their lives, but he wouldn't change one single moment.

* * *

 _Before someone whines and says I was bashing one of the team , Nope, Nope, I wasn't. I love them all, even Vance and I would never talk badly of them._ _Also, it seems as if I have been uploading something daily and this is because my mojo is really striking, I don't know how long this will keep going on so I might skip a few days and I apologize for that._ _Have a glorious day.~_


	2. B is for Bullets

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful._

 _Note: This one somewhat goes OOC, I personally think, sorry about that._

* * *

. B is for Bullets .

Shards of glass rained, crystallizing the streets with its broken symphony and the fireworks soared evaporating the hum of five gunshots. _One._ The window. _Two._ Her leg. _Three._ Her shoulder. _Four._ Her abdomen. _Five..._ His skull.

Tim was by her side in the matter of seconds, a melody of a million bullets raging a storm in his ears. She was bleeding, heavily. He never thought he would see Ziva David fall to the floor, the blood draining from her body.

"Stay with me, stay here." He frantically grips her hand, wiping a loose curl from her face. This is so wrong, so, so wrong. Tony should be here, Ziva shouldn't be bleeding out. "Gibbs!" His voice echoes in the warehouse, drowned in a sea of loud booms - The Fourth Of July is such a lovely time.

"It does not hurt." Tears are glistening in her eyes and he can see her being overwhelmed by an emotion that tells him she is accepting this fate.

"Ziva, stay with me." He doesn't realize that he too cries, until one slides from his cheek and onto the back of her hand. She looks at it, her olive toned skin alternating to a gentle pale.

"Do not cry." She frowns, lifting her hand to cup his cheek and wipe away his tears. "These things, have to happen yes?" Her voice is but a whisper and her hand trembles as she grows weaker by the second.

"Gibbs!" Tim desperately calls into the night, they can't lose her. Not now, not until she is at least ninety nine, has walked down the aisle wearing a puffy white dress, popped out at least five of Tony's kids, and finally solved every single damn American idiom. "Gibbs!" He screeches over the boom of the fireworks that sound so much like gunfire.

Her grip is loosing, she is letting go. She is drifting off into the next life. "Ari smelled of gun smoke, but you- you smell like love...do not wait Tim, do not be me or Tony."

"Ziva. You gotta hold on okay, you gotta hold baby sister." He tightens his hold on her hand, refusing to let go unlike the woman who is giving him her last words. She can't let go because Ziva can't be weak...and this woman is far too weak.

"My father told me once, that I would dance with a man who deserved my love...I danced with Tony in Berlin, Tim." She's struggling, struggling to hold on. She's slipping away, so far away.

"Just stay with me, Ziva." His voice has never sounded more demanding. This is all his fault, he should have known better than to let her walk off without him. Gibbs should have known better.

"It will be okay, Tim." Her eyelids are getting heavier. She wants to fade away, wants to let go because it would be so wonderful just to get some sleep. He frantically releases her grip, hand falling onto her abdomen hoping to stop the blood flow. "Abby has been a good friend, did she tell you we once went to Florida for spring vacation? We had a nice time." Her words are getting closer together, stumbling to just stay afloat.

"Gibbs!" His scream rolls into a sob. He has failed everyone, his team, his best friends. She is dying and what can he do? Absolutely nothing. His jaw clinches, he could leave her and run to find Gibbs but he would never forgive himself if she...He has to think positive, she can survive this. According to all DiNozzo logic, Ziva David has survived far worse.

"McGee!" Gibbs sprints to the two, his eyes wide with a sudden terror to find his agent - his daughter on the concrete in a puddle of her own blood. "What the hell happened?" The older man is already fumbling through his pockets for a cell phone.

 _Cell Phone! God, he is an idiot._ "Guy, came out of nowhere, Boss." He can't help the words that quiver because if Ziva dies, her blood is on his hands and he would never be able to live with himself.

"You have to tell him, Gibbs." Ziva's hand rests on Gibbs, the one holding the phone, and she makes a move to stop him from calling for help. "You have to tell him."

"You'll tell him yourself, Ziver." Gibbs makes a motion to slap her, but his hand stills, eyes reaching out to meet McGee's and the poor agent never thought he would see a tear slide from his boss' face.

"You have to tell him..." Her voice levels off, eyelids blinking as she slowly draws those wondrous chocolate browns shut. "Tell him..."

 _..._

 _Twenty-one hours._

That's how long he sat on a plane, biting his fingernails, checking his phone, calling for updates every five minutes, asking the flight attendant every two minutes how much longer they would be, and scolding himself for taking that stupid mission in Sydney. Yeah, navy crew members were being murdered but his team needed him.

He should have listen to that gut feeling, the feeling that always tells him somethings wrong with Ziva. He should have picked up the phone, called...or better yet he should have been there. _He should have been there._ The seat in front of him witnesses his anger, the woman beside him gives these "there is a crazy man" looks to her young daughter, and that stupid perky flight attendant keeps telling him to calm down but how in the world can he calm down when she is...

Getting a taxi in that following hour after his plane had landed was probably the most difficult task. It seemed everyone he stopped got snatched before he could grab it, it seemed as if no one cared that Ziva David was...

The streets were busy, _The Fourth of July_ , that was to be expected but Tony was getting impatient, frustrated, pissed, worried, angry, confused, hoping...he didn't think he could handle any news that opposed to her being alive.

When the taxi finally pulled up at the hospital, Tony's wallet flew towards the guy and he didn't bother with doing the task of taking it back. There was too much time already lost, twenty five hours to be exact and he prayed that there was only good news.

Abby's head was buried into Ducky. Tim was leaning his forehead against the wall. Jimmy was twiddling his thumbs. Gibbs was sipping coffee. _Of course._ Tony stepped forward, his expression suddenly becoming neutral as he entered the waiting room, all eyes turned on him. All eyes had tears.

"Is she...?" He couldn't bring himself to ask, the words were choked and he suddenly wanted to take off running and never stop. Take off to any day of his life in the past ten years besides this day because if they said the words that he was pretty certain they were about to say, he probably would take off running.

"Stable." Gibbs would nod and Tony fell on his knees, clinging to his chest as if his heart might pour out of it.

"Thank you, God...thank you."

* * *

 _[hands tissues] And you were thinking I was going to be cruel. Also, these chapters should start getting a bit longer._

 _Have a brilliant day.~_


	3. C is for Conviction

_Note: Another chapter in only one day? Yes, yes. I finished it early and decided that since I probably hurt your emotional state that I should probably upload this one. Thank you all so much for the reviews/favorites/follows. Sorry about the last chapter, but there were reasons behind it happening like that._

* * *

. C is for Conviction .

She looks nothing like Ziva David; an exotic beauty with well toned olive skinned, angel coffee curls that spiral and lie against her shoulders, chocolate eyes that usually always holds a neutral expression even when in pain. This woman before him with her pale skin, coffee curls brushed back and elegantly flowing against a plush white pillow, heavy chocolate eyes that read pain, and soft wispy cheeks that would no doubt burn in embarrassment if the ninja was up for it, is still the most exotic creature he has every laid eyes upon even in such a state.

She barely moves when he enters the room albeit a small flicker of her gaze. She sighs, its short and he can tell it'll probably be the only thing he gets from her. Once upon a time it would have been, but not now. Not when all the honesty they had conjured up in the pass two years still lies on the table, dragging them closer and closer to the destiny of finally becoming one.

He decides that to get her talking he should probably say something to her, but Tony isn't sure the words will come out in a yell, a scream, a cry, fear, shock, horror, pain, or _I couldn't live without you, I guess._ He slips his hands into his pockets, allowing his eyes to scan over her once more. Most of the time they don't need words, just their eyes to know what the other thinks, feels, wants. And the wanting...they hadn't been able to read that in the first eight years of their partnership, but in these last two years the wanting screams louder than their hearts.

"Hey, sexy." Tony tossed on his famous DiNozzo grin as he pushed back from his perch against the threshold in the doorway. He prays that his face appears neutral, but it won't matter because she has always been able to read him like an open book. As he nears the bed he runs his fingers along the white blanket, only barely skimming her leg as he goes.

"I do not feel very sexy." He wonders if he imagines the groan, the pity look in her eyes that only reaches out in being for her own self. She turns towards him, a slight smile carving the corner's of her lips before turning downwards. "I should be dead, Tony...why am I not dead?"

"You have too much here, plus ninja's can't die." He grins sitting down on the bed beside her. He wonders if he should take her hands, stroke his thumb along the back but he isn't sure his touch will be welcomed.

"I am being serious, Tony." She pauses to stroke her tongue along her lips, seeking moisture that isn't there. He quickly springs up and grabs the blue stained cup on the bedside table and he suddenly takes in the several flowers that he momentarily contemplates joking about, but they are being honest, they are being mature.

He takes the cup, surprised when it trembles slightly in his grip but knows he should have expected it considering his mind is racing with thoughts of what could have been. He holds the cup out so that she can take a few swallows.

Once she's done he sets the cup back down and takes his seat once more beside her, his hands automatically taking hers without much thought; odd or maybe not at all.

"I should be dead." Her voice trembles at the repeat of those thirteen letters, four words. "I should not be here, Tony...but yet here I am." She takes back one of her hands to rub her temple, eyes closing as she drifts off into thought. He waits for her to continue, thumb subconsciously roaming the nooks and crannies of the back of her hand that she shows no abjection to. "I was laying there...I could hear McGee's voice." She pauses again and he knows this is hard for her, not only the honesty but her showing that she trusts him enough to talk with him about this near death experience.

"I was seeing my life...and all of the chances that I did not take." Her hand squeezes his as her eyes drift open again to spy his smiling face. She wonders if the words will be enough, if the squeeze of her hand will let him know exactly what she means and by the smile he gives her she can tell that he does.

Its painful to see her sitting there, surrounded in a sea of hospital blankets and sheets. Looking so fragile, so small. She looks pale and frustrated but technically she just said what they have been waiting so long to tell the other. He continues the motion of his hand along her ridges, hoping that the way he stares at her is enough to let her know he gets it but he is tried of all of these misunderstandings and he wants to follow his heart and his head. "You should get some sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

She nods, lowers herself into the sea which only makes her look smaller. She smiles as she gives his hand another squeeze, that he returns with just as much strength, with just as much longing. "I look forward to it."

He smiles as he stands, his hand still holding hers as he leans down and plants a gentle kiss to her forehead and lingers for far too long but neither complain. "Me too." He whispers pulling back, his free hand reaching out to stroke her cheek.

There future isn't going to be in a hospital room forever wondering if the other will be okay. There future isn't going to be with them playing the role of obedient agents who follow their boss' rules. There future will be together; he decides as he pauses in the threshold his eyes pinned on her, the woman who has had his heart for oh so long.

And right now he's exhausted from not only the plane ride or worrying but from missed opportunities, this is what the both of them want and they have held out for far too long.

 _..._

The door is unlocked like always.

The stairs creak under his weight as he makes his way down into the belly of the beast. The aroma of Bourbon and sawdust accompany his nose as he travels down. A set of two baby blue's catch sight of him and it is all he can do to keep his breaths even.

His heart is pounding, palms are sweating. It is safe to say that he is nervous. The man before him has always decided his fate, but this time he won't let him; not any more at least.

He drums his hands reflexively against the sandal wood workbench purposely avoiding the overseer's gaze.

"How's Ziver?" Gibbs asks, his gaze falling back onto his woodwork.

"Good...I mean as good as she can be." Tony sighs, running his hand through his tufts of blonde. He isn't sure of how to start this conversation because it will inevitably fall down one path and lead things astray.

"Mm." The older man grunts, squinting momentarily at the object in his hand, nothing more than a block of wood.

"Did she say anything...I mean you know..." His hand goes through his hair again before finding a home in the pocket of his jeans.

The sniper tilts up his head, eyes dancing along his agent for a mere moment before he sets down his wood, chisel, and takes off his glasses obviously knowing where this conversation is going by the grunt he sends Tony as he walks passed him to snatch a bottle of Bourbon and two clear glasses. He pours the Bourbon in, neck rolling around until a slight 'pop' can be heard and when the cups are filled he sets one in front of his agent before taking a sip of his own.

"Not much." Gibbs shrugged, hand lifting up to scratch his chin. "You should ask McGee, he was with her."

Tony nods, picks up the glass, takes a sip, and winces at the burn the alcohol leaves behind. It's been ages since he's last picked up a glass of alcohol but he figures today he can allow one. "What did she say, Gibbs?" He doesn't mean for his voice to come out so demanding, a wrong move on his part especially since the conversation hasn't turned on the direction that he was aiming towards.

The older man grunts again before takes a swig of his Bourbon, his face is neutral - unreadable. "Nothing, but there's gotta be another reason for you to be here." He points out with a clinch of his jaw.

Tony nods, takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth to speak but the words won't form. Uncertain once more of where to begin, the senior agent headed over towards the chairs, pulled them both out, sat down, and then pointed towards the opposite. "Sit."

"You giving me orders, DiNozzo?" Gibbs grunted, setting down his glass before crossing his arms.

"Just sit down, please." The senior agent sighed, running his hands once more nervously through his hair. So Gibbs was going to be like this then? Great, it only makes things easier. Tony scoffs as he cross his arms against the back of the chair, brow arching slightly as he awaited the other man's move.

Sighing, Gibbs did as he was told.

"I respect you..."

"Don't," Gibbs would growl, jumping to his feet ready to throw in a bit of good verbal abuse. "Don't you dare tell me you're leaving my team for some snooty career in Australia."

Tony's brow furrowed in confusion, what was the boss going on about? Had he heard some gossip that not even Tony knew? "What?"

"I heard Vance talking to the CEO down in Australia who said you were doing a hell of a job. If you came to explain then don't, I don't wanna hear it." His arms crossed again, gaze narrowing reminding Tony of a serpent who was waiting to strike.

"I'm not leaving, I couldn't imagine doing so...when you retire I have every intention to take over. I don't want my own team until you have to go." Tony sighed, if Gibbs thought he was leaving then one could only imagine how this next subject could go. "I want to talk with you about Ziva...about Ziva and myself."

Gibbs face went blank, mouth rolling open to form a big 'O' before drawing shut just as quickly back into neutral stance. "There's a you and Ziva?" His gaze narrowed, tempting his prey with predator eyes.

"We respect you Gibbs, have for ten years but sometimes...we would never break your rules if it wasn't something we believed so strongly in. We have held out for so long Gibbs, we've danced around each other pretending that none of it mattered but it does matter Gibbs. She does matter...I would never, ever do anything to hurt her and not being with her is hurting her more than anything I could ever do to her. I want - I want to be with her. Against your rules or not." Tony found his hands in his pockets again. His heart was pounding louder and he was fearful that the boss man could hear it, if he did he didn't say.

The older man grunted, turned back to his woodwork, and began to work.

Was this permission in it's own twisted way? Was it Gibbs denying he had heard what had been said? With or without his permission, Tony knew exactly what he was going to do come 0800 when the visiting hours opened, he just wished Gibbs would say something, anything.

"Took you long enough."

Except that...anything but that.

Why couldn't he yell? Tell Tony he would put him on a different team? Fire him right then and there even if he didn't have the authority? But telling Tony that it took him long enough was the worse thing to ever come through his ears even if it was permission. It meant that all he ever had to do was tell Gibbs how he was feeling about Ziva and they could have gotten together.

"Bastard." Tony huffed, fists clinched even though he knew better than to start throwing punches. He knew better enough to back track his steps up those creaking stairs and out of the belly of the beast.

And as he slams the door in place, he knows the word was meant more for himself.

 _..._

His musky scent is what pulls her from invigorating sleep. He sits in one of the cushioned chairs, reclined back slightly, one leg thrown over the other, and a cup of pudding in his hand.

"I believe that is my pudding, yes?" She hums groggily as she lifts up using her one good arm so that she can see him better.

She takes in the curve of his jaw, the valley of his lips, the shadow of beard around his face, the slop of his nose, the wide green eyes, and the way his hair is tossed about as if he just recently woke up.

"I..uh..was hoping you didn't mind sharing?" His facial features struggle between a smile, frown, neutral while his hand holding the spoonful of pudding is still halfway to his lips.

"I do not mind." She frowns, reaching for the cup of water at the bedside and takes a few sips, her eyes never leaving his. "You seem...lost in thought." Ziva pointed out once the cup was back on it's stand.

"Yeah..." He scratches his stubble and sets the pudding down by the floor before hopping up and sitting down at her bedside. "Vance called me last night, I have to leave for Australia in a few hours."

Her heart stops or at least skips a beat because she is still breathing or so she believes she is. He just told her he would be leaving again and for how long? She wanted him to stay, to say all the things they had been harboring for oh so long, to be separated again would only crush her more.

"I told him no though, told him to find someone else to work the case." He takes her hands in his, thumb brushing over the valleys and hills of her knuckles.

For some reason she feels like she already knows the answer, but she knows she must ask the question anyways. "Why?"

"Because my ninja needs me." He presses his lips to the back of her hand, wondering if they can handle the true honesty in this moment and when the silence drags on he finds that maybe they can't until her voice, only but a whisper finds his ears:

"That is not all that is bothering you."

He has to laugh at that, his ninja always had careful observation skills especially when it came to him. He supposes that's why they work. "I went and saw Gibbs before the director rung...we had a talk. Nothing is stopping us from doing this Ziva, nothing is stopping us from finally being together. We can't keep letting his rules control us no matter how loyal we want to be." Tony finds the need to pause and brush away one of her curls. "Loyalty is important to both of us, but our happiness should come first. I don't care how slow we have to take things I just want to be with you and not a soul on this planet will stop that."

He hears her suck in a deep breath, but his eyes have long diverted to her hand. He doesn't want to see the look in her eyes as she rejects him, kicks him out, tells him they can't do this but he knows she won't do that, not any more no matter how badly she wants to run from her emotions. The road they have taken has been long and exhausting but they have finally gotten to the point in their lives where emotions no longer scare them so he isn't surprised when he meets her gaze to kind her smiling.

"Your movies usually have a kissing scene." Ziva pointed out, a slight mischievous smirk claiming her features.

"If this were a movie, you would've already been mine." He smiles leaning in slowly. "I'll kiss you, only if you want me to."

"You have never had to ask."

And even though she says it with the most serious poker face ever to cross her features, they both know it's a big lie but it doesn't matter because she leans in fully prepared to meet him halfway and he closes the gap.

It starts off slow, patient as if they want to savor the kiss before it drifts off into more passion and longing. Their lungs burn long before they give in to the desire to breathe, foreheads resting together as they both smile breathless. What they have always wanted they have finally gotten.

"So...you coming to my place tonight?" Tony grins only for it to be accompanied by Ziva's chuckle before she pulls his shirt and connects her lips with his once more, not at all surprised that he tastes like mint.

* * *

 _This will probably be the last chapter today so I hope you have a pleasant day!~_


	4. D is for Distraction

_Lovely, lovely, lovely._

 _Note: This will probably be the only one today. Thank you all so much for the reviews/favorites/follows when I can't think of something I always come online and see all of the wonderful reviews and it never fails to help motivate me._

* * *

. D is for Distraction .

He had every intention of being the first one into the squad room come six weeks later after Ziva had gotten shot, she was now back at her place all alone without anything to do besides watch the movies they had yet to finish from the list he made two summer's ago after the whole Bodner charade. She never said anything about being lonely or being bored but he could tell all she wanted was to get back out in the field.. The doctor had cleared her on Monday but Gibbs had told her not to come in for another two weeks, evidently he was still having nightmares about the whole event. Everyone was except Ziva who seemed unfazed by the events, omitting the several hours after the accident. In fact as soon as Tony carried her home two days after they decided to give their relationship a go, she had darted to her bedroom and tossed on her running gear, made it a point that even though she carried several stitches she could still break every bone in his body if he didn't move away from the doorway.

When she came back an hour later, she wasn't flushed or dripping in sweat. He didn't feel the need to ask even though he was certain it was something that most definitely needed to be addressed, but she was back and safe. Her stitches were still intact, she was still intact so he let it slide and continued to let it slide until the doctor cleared her to actually start running weeks later when the stitches were removed which was when she finally started walking through the door flushed and dripping in sweat, the toll of finding her old pace heavy.

So it came at no surprise to him when he walked out of that elevator after it sent out its famous 'ping' to find a little bob of coffee brown curls bouncing down into her seat. Today would be interesting. According to a rather brief glance around every corner of the floor Gibbs had not arrived yet which meant he probably didn't know what his youngest agent was up to.

"Funny," Tony grinned as he leaned against the orange boarder blocking her desk. "I remember hearing you rant last night due to Gibbs refusing to let you come back."

Narrowing her eyes, Ziva looked towards him. Her lips were pursed as if not at all amused by her partner's - now boyfriend's - remark. "I have been cleared Tony, there is no reason why I should not be allowed back here." She gestured with her hands before turning back to the stack of case files on her desk.

"We're just looking out for you, sweet cheeks." He smiles affectionately even though she isn't looking at him which somewhat bugs him. "You know that if the roles were reversed you would be following the same precautions."

She snorts at this, her pen dropping down against the desk as she hops back from her seat. Her eyes are still narrowed as she passes by him, heading out towards the break room.

What's gotten to her? He wonders, scratching his clean shaven chin as he contemplates going after her. She might abject, push him away - something he feels she has been doing after leaving the hospital -, or she could be honest about whatever it is that is troubling her. More than likely it'll be the former two but the later is a possibility and in these ten years he has learned that with Ziva David possibility is everything.

After setting his bag down behind his desk he makes every intention to head towards the break room, but the loud echo of the elevator stops him abruptly. "We got a dead body, hurry up DiNozzo."

"McGee isn't in yet-"

"Already called him, hurry up."

Reaching for his backpack, he sends a quick frown in the general direction of the break room. If whatever is going on with Ziva isn't cleared up before the team gets back there will in doubt be an outburst from the Israeli-American.

He joins Gibbs in the elevator ten steps later, contemplating if he should warn the leader of the fiery assassin. The two hadn't been exactly on speaking terms after the whole basement incident and while Tony does feel sort of bad about calling his boss a certain word, he doesn't think he was wrong in doing such both himself and Ziva had focused on dancing around each other, seeking each other with longing gazes, gentle brushes here and there, a few kisses on the cheek or forehead all because Gibbs had rule number twelve and held it just above their heads like a cat teasing a dog. It was Gibbs' fault, okay not entirely because at any moment they could have broken said rule, but by majority it had always been Gibbs that kept them apart.

No, he wasn't wrong in calling the boss - and himself - a bastard because it had been true. Plus, apologizing was a sign of weakness and Tony had already broke one rule this month the last thing he needed was more excuses to get head slapped around every corner and there was the next thing, Gibbs hadn't head slapped him since the basement massacre. Was he angry? Pissed? Pleased? Tony wasn't certain what was going on in the boss' mind but as the doors to the elevator rolled open he had no doubt that very soon he would figure it out.

Which now meant he had not one, but two storms brewing and everyone knows what happens when two hurricanes collide.

...

She was still at her desk when Tony and Tim came back from the crime scene. She was frustratingly typing away, barely even registering both looks she gained; One of worry, one of confusion.

"I thought Gibbs told you that you couldn't come back until next week." Tim frowned, pausing in step directly in front of the ninja's desk, which was a bad move because she immediately crumbled up a piece of paper and threw it towards his head.

Something was definitely wrong, Ziva hardly ever harassed Tim. In fact she had always been the one to defend him if not on board with one of Tony's prank. He watched her carefully; the twitch of her brow, the way her fingers rapidly flew across the keys, the way her hair had been flung back into a bun as opposed to it being down as it had been earlier. Something was wrong and he suddenly wanted to just drop everything and pull her to him but even if they weren't currently working on a case he wouldn't dare do that to her.

They had both agreed the night after they kissed for the first time that the whole thing between them would be kept a secret. It was new and exciting. As much as he would've liked, he knew she wouldn't accept his embrace here in the middle of the squad room where so many could see them.

Tony sighed as the echo of two voices pulled him back from his thoughts.

They were fighting, well mostly Ziva who was screaming at Tim to mind his own business. She probably didn't see it through the steam, but Tony caught that hurt expression that sizzled onto the middle agent. Tim wasn't good at playing poker face, the hurt was evident. Tony watched the insults that Ziva jabbed, watched the way her lip quivered, the way she brushed back her a strand of hair, he picked up on every tell tale sign that Ziva David was not at all okay and there was only one event he could think of that would have caused it.

"Okay, Ziva. I think Tim has had enough don't you?" His voice was smooth, calm. His hands were held up hoping to show her that he was not at all a threat but speaking out had been a mistake because she immediately reared herself up to his face, nose to nose.

"Was I asking you, Tony? I believe I was not, so why do you not mind your own business as well." She appeared to be angry, frustrated. The rage in her chocolate brown eyes was only masking the pain that laid underneath.

Tony inhaled. Angry Ziva was one thing, combined with a frustrated and pained Ziva? Well someone might as well pull out the cannons because she was about to start an all out war.

How fortunate it was that Gibbs chose that exact moment to walk into the squad room. "David, what the hell are you doing here? I gave you another week."

Tony's eyes grew wide, as did Tim's when both of them made eye contact. This was not good, not good at all. A pissed off Gibbs and a pissed off Ziva? And not to mention the pissed off Gibbs had just yelled at her? This day was just getting better and better.

"I have been cleared for desk duty whether you like it or not and I will be here whether you like it or not." Ziva stepped away from Tony as she spoke, her eyes landing on Gibbs' whose brow had risen.

Gibbs' jaw clinched before he shrugged and turned towards his other agents. "What do ya got?"

The two of them scrambled to fill on the boss on the information - or rather lack of. Neither trying to think about why Gibbs hadn't yelled at Ziva or why Ziva had yelled at Gibbs, not to mention Tim, she _never_ yelled at Tim.

It wasn't until close to 2000 that Tony caught Ziva heading off towards the break room again. The three had been working relatively quiet hoping to avoid another outburst from the Israeli-American while they surfed through piles and piles of evidence, not a lead in any of it. As soon as she leaped up and headed off Tony turned towards Tim who had been casually watching the two all afternoon.

"She's not okay, Tim." Tony kept his voice low hoping to avoid any prying ears.

"Yeah...I noticed." Tim nodded, halting his fingers to a hover just above his keyboard. "She...she was dying, Tony. You think she's still suffering from that?" The younger man pondered, his voice slightly uneven upon his mention of their colleagues almost fate.

"I don't know...cover for us?" He didn't want to leave Tim stranded in a sea of files, but they were getting no where. Leaving his coworker for a couple of minutes probably wouldn't matter and if Gibbs just happened to show up, well...Tony was fully prepared to back him off of the kid's and their case.

"Yeah." Tim tossed him a flat smile before turning back to whatever geeky techno stuff he had been working on.

Tony returned the smile before jumping to his feet. It didn't take him but ten minutes to walk through the break room to find the Israeli leaning against the counter, holding a death grip with white stained knuckles.

"Ya know, usually we do this in the bathroom." He grinned hoping to get even a twitch of her lips, only to frown when he did not.

He crossed the room, tentatively, taking slow easy steps so that she doesn't snap at him. He's surprised when she turns towards him and pulls him into an embrace, her head burying inside of his chest and did he just imagine that sniffle? That twitch of her spine as he rubbed his hand along it?

He settles for running his hand through her curly locks, waiting for her to make any and every move. _Be patient_ , that's what he has learned when it came to Ziva. If she wanted one to know something she would tell them on her own terms, not their's, even if they bowed down on their knees and begged.

It took five minutes this time before she was ready enough to pull back, her bottom lip in between her top teeth. Tony could tell she was being hesitant, wondering if she should lay this burden upon his shoulders. He took her hands in his in encouragement, giving them a good squeeze or two as the minutes dragged on with them staring into each others eyes; hers remaining neutral, his remaining concerned.

"We should not do this." She says pulling back from him, turning away from him, tensing as he draws closer.

"Do what?" There's an edge to his voice, he already knows the answer but still he has to ask. He wonders why she's doing this to them, her insecurities are killing them.

"This, us." He wonders if he imagines the way she flinches at her own voice, so relaxed, so clam with the decision she has just set before them.

He sighs, runs his fingers through his blonde tufts because he knows "they" are not what is bothering her. It's something else, something more. "Stop doing that. Stop covering up your bigger problems with problems you think should exist. I know that something else is bothering you, Ziva and I am here for you whether we talk about it or not. But don't beat yourself up worse with your insecurities. I want you, you want me. Nothing has changed that, nothing will change that." He steps closer, hands reaching out to touch her, surprised when she doesn't push away.

"I am sorry..." She forces herself back into his embrace only confusing him more; This isn't how she usually acts, whatever is bothering her has really gotten underneath her skin. As his hand glides along her back he feels her tense again.

"What's going on?" He whispers against the top of her head, pressing soft kisses where his breath as ruffled a few strands of her coffee hair.

"I do not wish to burden you." Her tone is apologetic, as if she truly believes that she could ever burden him.

"Nothing with you is a burden, sweet cheeks." He pushes her back, holding her at arm's length so that he can stare into those glorious browns.

She closes her eyes, her chest rises and falls with each intake and outtake. She's having an internal battle of whether to tell him or push him away and it kills him that she has to do this, that even though they have come so far in two years there are still those moments were being vulnerable frightens them.

"Five bullets. He shot me three times. Shot the window once. McGee's bullet hit him last. Five bullets. Five shots. I never fired my gun, Tony." She lowers her gaze to his chest, her hand coming up to rest there. "Why did I not fire my gun?"

He pulls her to him, kisses the top of her head wishing that they were somewhere more private so that he could press his lips to her's, to let her know that she isn't alone and that he understands entirely what is running through her mind.

When she seems calmer he pulls back, keeping a firm grip on her arms but loose enough not to hurt her. "Sometimes, we forget to do things, Ziva. Maybe you saw something in him. Maybe you didn't think he was a threat."

"That is stupid!" She jerks back against his grip and he lets her knowing she needs to burn out. She is branded from the nightmare of almost dying and she didn't take any means to stop it. "I thought coming back to work could be a distraction from it...that is all I need is just a distraction but everyone keeps asking why I am here and it is like asking me why am I still alive." He spies the twinkle of a tear glistening in her chocolates.

"You're alive because you are a fighter, because you belong in this world for just awhile longer...because your place in this world hasn't been finished." He reaches out for her, just a brief touch of her cheek in hopes that she hears his words, that she takes them and holds them dear. "No one is asking why you are still alive, Ziva, they are questioning _why_ you aren't dead."

She turns into his embrace, burying her face inside his neck. He pulls her in close, as tight as he is sure she can bare. While he doesn't exactly _know_ what she is going through, he remembers the way Ducky explained over the phone what had happened. He remembers the way it clattered to the floor, shattering his screen as he clung to the kitchen counter trying his hardest not to have a heart attack. He remembers the pain of being thousands of miles away, just too far away and the pain of knowing that it could very well be the end and if it was - he would never be able to forgive himself.

His fingers continue to stroke through her curls, feeling her heart beat rapidly against his chest like his is no doubt doing to her own. He remembers the feeling like it was a repeat of Somalia, only this time they were closer - only this time they had been close to being more than just best friends.

Ziva shifts underneath him and automatically finds his gaze. She must see the hurt that has been running through his mind because she immediately lifts up a hand and cups his cheek and even though they are at headquarters, in the break room where anyone could walk in, she presses her lips to his; slow and steadily.

Just as quickly as it begins it ends with him resting his forehead against her's suddenly wanting so much more than just a few kisses, more than just a couple of make out sessions. She reads him again, in a single instant and a mischievous smile brightens her features.

"The copying room locks from the inside and I am certain we could both use the distraction." She rubs herself against him causing him to groan from the arousal that shoots through his body.

"While I don't think McCoverUp would mind saving our tails for a couple of more minutes, I think we both know that we want our first time to be in a bed." Tony strokes her cheek with his thumb before planting a gentle feathery kiss on her lips. "When this case is over, I'm taking you out for dinner because we are doing this right, Ziva."

"Does that mean I will not be able to have you until date three?" She pouts, clinging to the collar of his shirt but he knows she is simply teasing from the little glint in her eyes.

"Oh, did I mention that we also have certain exceptions to 'we are doing this right'?" He grins as he pulls her in for another brief kiss. They've been gone for at least twenty minutes and they'll be beyond lucky if Gibbs hasn't showed back up with a coffee in hand.

* * *

 _For the record, Gibbs is not any of those. Have an amazingly spectacular day!~_


	5. E is for Encumber

_Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous_

 _Note: I was having a bit of trouble writing this, I knew the direction I wanted to take it but just couldn't seem to write it out. I think it turned out pretty good in the end but eh...and apparently the only way I can get pumped with writing these two is when I watch YouTube videos of them. As always thank you for the reviews/favorites/follows._

 _Obviously I do not own the Star Spangled Banner._

* * *

. E is for Encumber .

He kissed every scar, every mark that had ever caused her pain. These marks were the mystery of time, stories she promised to tell someday in the near future. Stories he would listen to, possibly sob along with her, pull her close, and press kisses to her to let her know that being alone is never an option anymore.

She kissed away every memory, every burning emblem that he couldn't save her - that he had been too late. She kissed away his nightmares of only being one second behind flying bullets, caffeine addicted fools, and a man who had almost had her heart. She massaged every weary muscle, reminding each and every one that she was alive in just her single touch. That she was here to stay, that he was her anchor and for him she would always be.

He kissed her senseless, breathless all throughout the night.

She kissed him breathless, senseless all throughout the morning.

They weren't sex addicts, but love addicts. Through their moans, kisses that tasted like mint and honey, and through whispers they exchanged between every kiss they let the other know that for finally in their lives, the other was not alone. That the other was right before them, that the other was around for good. That no one had died in a firefight, explosion, or in a cell against heavy desert heat. That revenge had not destroyed, only healed.

...

Fifteen minutes after Ziva settled herself into her seat, Tony came bounding in whistling some far off tune. It sounded familiar to her ears, but she couldn't place it, in fact the only thing she could do was watch the curve of his lips remembering all too fondly of how they felt against her skin.

He must have felt her gaze because as soon as he reached his own desk he threw her an affection smile that lingered for a moment far too long before turning and nodding at Tim who was watching them suspiciously. Perhaps he knew something was up? She couldn't blame him really, it was fairly obvious that Tony had gotten some sort of stress relief last night as it had been the first time in nearly two years he had strolled into the squad room in melodic bliss and by the way Tim kept arching his brow, letting his eyes wander between herself and Tony, there was no doubt in her mind that they were suspects on his list.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" The middle agent pondered allowing his eyes to flicker onto the eldest agent currently in the squad room who had long since propped his feet up against his desk and leaned back, his eyes getting this dreamy look as he stared off into space.

"I finally got a new mattress, slept like a baby." Tony sighed as he kicked his legs off the desk and rolled around to start up his emails while Tim's eyes danced from Ziva and back to Tony waiting for one or the other to say something else.

Ziva watched the middle agent with great caution, he was expecting her to tease their other partner and she had every intention to do just that but it was the other one she planned to tease. "It was good for your back then, yes?" She smirked, feeling Tim's widened gaze on her as she checked through her own emails with a skillful poker face.

Almost immediately after she spoke, Tony's dazzling green gaze would fall upon her almost asking what she was up to. It only took him a moment to catch on and he sent her a quick wink. "Yeah, thank you for recommending the mattress store by the way, it was a snug fit."

She turned to shoot him a grin, picking up in her peripheral vision that Tim's hands had stilled over his keyboard and his eyes were wide like a deer's caught in the headlights. Ziva smirked and briefly nodded her head in Tim's direction, but the man across from her made no moves to look at anything or anyone else but her. Thus it had been, thus it would always be.

They stayed like that, in comfortable silence - awkward for only Tim who cleared his throat and then returned back to whatever he had been typing away at earlier - watching the other. Years ago it had meant desire, longing but as they continued to stare, as the moments panned out there was only one word to follow through with what this new look meant and it was only when Gibbs whizzed passed, breaking their eye contact that they shuddered over such an emotion.

It wasn't a feeling that she had with Michael or he had with Jeanne. It wasn't like EJ or Ray. It was something new, something fresh, something that had always been lying in the background just waiting to be unleashed.

"You two coming?" They had barely even realized that they had caught the others gaze again, completely ignored Gibbs informing them that they had a petty officer in the Potomac, and didn't even recognize the other two agents rushing off for the elevator casually awaiting for them to join. They hurriedly grabbed their gear, falling into step with each other as they walked to their destination and Tim didn't fail to notice the way Tony placed his hand against the small of Ziva's back when he let her enter first.

...

"McGee is suspicious." Ziva pointed out casually as she stood next to her partner - boyfriend -, hand above her eyes to see his handsome face against the blaring sun. He was finishing up a witness report from one of the women who had found the car driven into the water.

"What makes you say that?" He pondered, walking around her so that his gaze would face the sun instead of her's.

"He keeps giving us these looks." Ziva gestured with her hand, pointing out that she found said looks uncomfortable by all means.

"Should we...talk to him?" Tony questioned, taking off his cap to scratch the back of his head. If McGoo was suspicious then that meant Abby was too which meant the whole team probably was.

"I thought we agreed?" Her face fell flat as she bit her bottom lip to look towards the grass.

"Yes, sweet cheeks, we did. I was just asking if you thought we should tell him, just to get him off of our case." He did a quick once over with his head to scope out the area before placing a firm grip along her arm. "Hey, we don't have to tell a single soul about us. We already agreed on baby steps."

She nodded in return followed quickly by a sigh before her chocolate gaze drifted up to meet his. "It is not that I do not want to tell everyone, I just..." A frown carved her features as she found herself at a lost for words. In honest truth she would love to tell everyone, her and Tony were finally together, boyfriend and girlfriend. It was nice, exciting, fun. He was incredible, not that she didn't already know that but ever since they decided to be a _them_ she had slowly started to realize all of the little things he did for her that she had never noticed before.

Perhaps she was just scared. Scared that the second all of this was out in the open things would get complicated, people would start asking questions. Questions she didn't hold the answer to. Her feelings for Tony were strong, stronger than any emotion she had ever felt and laying that all out in the open...it somehow made her feel weak and here she was thinking they had grown in the pass two years since they both started coming to a conclusion on how they both felt. Yet she was still stuck in square one; _insecurities._

She chewed the inside of her cheek before looking up into his sparkling greens and giving him a smile. "We will tell them soon, I promise."

Tony grinned in return, poked her in the shoulder before heading off to seek out the boss man for the next task. She watched him go, watched him walk over towards Gibbs and wondered how such a wonderful man could make her feel so undeserving. It wasn't fair to think like this, not when things between them were starting to get good - really good. Perhaps that was all it boiled down to, how good it was going. Nothing ever went good for them, nothing.

Ziva sighed as she turned back against the heated sun wondering why in the world she had to think about all of this so early in the morning, it wasn't fair especially when some petty officer and been shot right before drowning.

 _One. The window. Two. Her leg. Three. Her shoulder. Four. Her abdomen. Five. His skull._

Her jaw clenched tightly as she squeezed the bottom of her jacket until her knuckles stained white until she was able to control her breathing. The man who shot her was dead, she was still alive. _She was still alive. She was still alive._

Finally getting calm enough, the Israeli-American headed towards the black optima furrowing her brow as she watched Tim take a few shots with his camera and as Ducky and Palmer rambled on about something that was Greek to her. She gathered a few uneven breathes, blinking back the images that against all of her power encumber her.

 _One. The window. Two. Her leg. Three. Her shoulder. Four. Her abdomen. Five. His skull._ _The last gunshot rings like a never ending song or maybe that is just simply the fireworks._ _O say can you see by the dawn's early light,_ _It doesn't hurt, it should hurt._ _What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,_ _Tim is hovering over top of her, he screams something...but what?_ _Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,_ _He looks at her...are her lips moving? She can't seem to hear what falls out._ _O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?_ _Is that blood on her hand? It doesn't hurt, it should hurt._ _And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,_ _Gibbs said they could watch the fireworks, she doesn't think they look more beautiful than when in her sister's hair._ _Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;_ _Tony! It's Tony! He came to see her!_ _O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,_ _She has to tell him, she has to tell him that she..._ _O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?_

She jumps about three feet into the air when a hand comes in contact with her back. She wasn't expecting the touch and after a moment to gather herself she catches Ducky's worrisome gaze.

"Are you alright my dear? You look pale." The older man frowns at her and she turns her head to find the others staring at her.

"Yeah...um just some sushi I ate earlier." She swallows back the knot, swallows back the memories. Her tongue grazes over her lips before she gives them all a reassuring smile, but when she catches Tony's eyes she knows he doesn't buy the act. It will take a lot more than just words to convince him.

...

"Ziva's not okay." Tim points out after five minutes of silence in the van, Gibbs and Ziva took the car to check out a suspect - which probably wasn't the brightest move considering.

"You think?" Tony barks, changing lanes. He's taking his anger out on Tim, anger that probably shouldn't be there but he saw the way she was shaking...he saw the look in her eye. She was still hurting which meant the therapy they had been using hadn't helped. Which meant his Ziva was in pain - emotional pain and he couldn't do anything to help it.

His fists connects with the horn when a car cuts him off, he throws out a few chosen words ignoring the wince Tim gives.

"I think you should convince her to take some time off." Tim sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Great, so Tim was going to tell _him_ what to do with _his_ girlfriend, like he could even convince her to take some vacation time. She has her own mindset, she is her own person.

"And what makes you," He paused, craning his neck to check the left lane before giving a quick signal and following in suit after a blue mustang. "Think she will listen to me?"

"Because you two have obviously gotten _closer_ since what happened." Tim replied barely above a whisper, the subject is touchy and Tony really has to give the probie some credit.

"What makes you say that?" He poker faces, no way is he about to give up a secret when Ziva is already going through hell. The last thing she needs is this; _"I need a distraction."_ Maybe she did need it? Maybe she did need people to question her about a relationship and ask her where she thought it was headed. "She seemed so happy last night..." The words are out before he can stop them, whelp no use trying to hold back now.

"You two...?" Tim drawls off as if he didn't even suspect the whole charade.

"Are very serious." Tony sighs, might as add that to the list Ziva could kill him for. Seemed it was only getting longer and longer. "I really...she isn't like the others. She isn't some conquest, she's the real deal. The whole package, the "someday I am going to marry that woman" package. She makes me happy, Tim...God that sounds girly." He chuckles, releasing the breath he hadn't known he had been holding in.

"So you are in -" The other beings before being caught off by his colleagues voice.

"I am in love with her." He chews the inside of his cheek, contemplating if he should ask Tim what happened that night under a million fireworks. He needs to know the story even if it isn't from her perspective but he can't put Tim under the wrath of his girlfriend.

"You told her that?" Tim pondered a loud, clinging to the passenger assist handle as the car pulled into the base.

"Waiting for the right moment...but she's been so shaken up lately...I don't suppose the perfect moment will ever come." The senior agent sighed, placing the car in park. Pulling the keys from the ignition his gaze would settle on Tim who seemed to be having some sort of internal battle.

"You should tell her...and don't worry, I'll keep this between us." Tim smiled to which Tony returned but he couldn't help to think that his friend had wanted to say more.

...

"I brought chunky monkey." He grins devilishly as he stands before her in the favorite of her's green t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. The ice cream in his hand is freezing but he couldn't careless because she is smiling at him, a genuine full on smile. He knew stopping and picking it up would do some good.

"When did you learn my favorite ice cream?" Her brow furrows as she steps aside allowing him entry of her small one roomed apartment, after Somalia it was all she could bare.

"You never told me?" He spins around quickly, curiosity etched upon his risen brow. It seemed to him that chunky monkey made sense for ninjas, is that how he knew?

"No, I do not think so but thank you." She pulls him to her, her eyes catching sight of his shirt and she smirks as she zeroes her lips onto his. "Are you trying to get some important information off of me?" She teases in that seductive tone that always goes right to a very sensitive spot. His hesitation is what pulls her back and he mentally head slaps himself over the mistake.

If he wanted her to talk with him he couldn't push it but so far, especially not after what happened earlier. He catches one of her curls between his fingers with his free hand before moving a gentle thumb to stroke her cheek. "I know something is bothering you and when something bothers you, it bothers me too. You don't have to talk about it, I already told you that but it would be nice if you just gave me a heads up on how you're feeling because I need to know if you can go out in the field and shoot a man if he's threatening your life," Her heart beat has increased, he can tell by the way she breathes, the way she stills at his voice. "Please don't push me away, please. We already had this conversation I know but...I feel like I'm losing you and I don't want to lose you. We are stronger than this, Ziva, whatever it is. It is no match for us. Do you hear me when I say us? Because I mean it, we are in this together. I don't plan on going anywhere."

She responds by pressing her lips to his, taking in his minty taste savoring it as the kiss deepens and if it wasn't for hungry breaths she would have held out for much longer.

"I am not trying to push you away...I just want to try dealing with it on my own first." It's a whisper against the sudden roar of her air conditioner coming to life but he hears it and he wishes it were different but she is alive, right in front of him. He just needs her to know that she can turn to him, that she can lean into him and cry into his shoulder if she pleases.

"Okay, but don't wait too long before you come and find me. I want to do something that will help you..." Tony craves to add the last part, the eight letters, the three words but in this moment were she seems so terrified he doesn't think it's right. "If there is anything I can do -."

"Kissing me helps." She rubs her cheek against his. "Holding me helps. Being here helps. You do help. It might not end it...the memory of not pulling the trigger but it helps me know that I am..." She cuts herself off, eyes catching his as both hold their breaths. Is this their moment? Is this were they tell the other? "cared for." Ziva plants her hand against his chest as he tries his best to keep his face neutral.

"And does talking help?" Tony's surprised when his voice comes out even. She very well may be pushing him away and he isn't sure that is something they can handle. For two years they've been working towards this moment, for seven weeks she has been dealing with yet another nightmare that very well might put her in harms way.

She bites her lip as she looks towards the floor, suddenly remembering the chunky monkey in his hands she takes it before her gaze falls back onto his. "We already talked about it. Do you want some?" She pushes away from him and heads towards the kitchen area, there she goes shutting him out.

He's not certain why his chest starts aching, maybe there is a hole in his heart. The woman before him, the woman he loves with all of his heart is doing what she does best, pushing him away. He swallows back the knot in his throat, heaves out a sigh, and then follows her. As soon as he gets there he lifts her up on top of the counter and presses his lips to hers. He isn't tasting her but hoping to make it known that he isn't going anywhere, that no matter how hard she pushes him away he will stay and he prays it won't destroy him.

...

 _Don't worry, Ziva won't be beating herself up for much longer and she will let Tony in, but I'm using insecurities and vulnerability as a weakness because that had always been their second and third problem with wanting each other. It terrifies them. Oh, a quick question for those who I can reply to is that something you would like me to do? I wouldn't mind replying if that's what you'd like. As always have an amazingly tremendous day!~_


	6. F is for Finicky

_This one is short so I decided to upload it early_

 _..._

. F is for Finicky .

Ziva towers over top of him for a moment, smiling at the way his mouth draws open and how he has just a dab of drool hanging against the openings of his mouth. He looks peaceful, happy, and not at all drained like she is certain she has been doing to him. It's not fair to push him away, but she just can't seem to find the words that will let him know what is going through her head. She knees his hand, watches as he grunts for a moment, and slowly draws his eyes to gaze up at her. She finds that this Tony, the sleepy Tony is her favorite.

"What's the matter?" He slurs, running a hand over his face as he works his facial muscles into operation. A quick glance at the clock tells him it's only 0500 and the clothes she is wearing - her running gear - tells him she is heading out for a run which worries him because it's been a week since she came back all sweaty.

"You told McGee." She crosses her arms, her face working into the interrogative expression she only uses while questioning suspects. He sits up abruptly, trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible because there is no way she knows, right?

"What makes you say that?" He poker faces, brow arching ever so slightly in hopes to sell his act. It doesn't work, she sees right through him, she always does.

"He was acting different yesterday after you two went back to headquarters." Her gaze narrows and he knows he's been caught, no sense in lying now he might as well fess up.

"Okay, it accidentally came up." Tony sighs, running a hand through his blonde tufts and purposely avoiding her chocolate gaze.

She sighs then, uncrosses her arms and leans in as close to his face as she can get without touching their lips together before whispering: "I do not mind, just let me know when you are going to tell someone." She swipes down as if to close the gap only to jerk back just as quickly with a chuckle. "You have to brush your teeth before I kiss you." Her hand connects with his cheek in a playful smack before she starts heading towards the door. "I will be back in an hour."

He waits until the door clicks shut before pulling the comforter back and rising to his feet. He heads to the closet, takes his clothes of the hangers that she no doubt hung up while getting ready for her "run". Tony is quick in tossing on his clothes and running the tooth brush over his teeth, he doesn't bother with combing back his hair too much time has already been lost.

The drive to the warehouse only takes thirty minutes, his heart is thudding in his ears because if she isn't here then he's not exactly sure what he will do. He just knows this is where she has to go on the days she doesn't sweat, the place with yellow crime scene tape covering off a glass-less window. The path to the room where her life nearly ended is foreign and his tennis shoes crunch underneath concrete, dust, dirt, and whatever other substance has accumulated over the years.

He finds her; eyes closed, curls hanging loosely, and her hands trailing the points of where bullets sliced through her tender flesh until resting in the air pointing directing at the blood splatter.

"I was suppose to wait for backup, but I just took off...it was an impulse." Her eyes fall open, hand stilled raised, and eyes looking directly at the splatter. "I followed him through the halls...I was so close. He ran in here, I followed slowly. My gun was raised, it was full." She pulls her arms together to cling herself into a one person embrace, like a self conscious teenage girl. "He missed and hit the window, did I freeze? He hit me once, twice...three times and I did not feel a thing. McGee's gun hit him last, he fell and he died but it does not feel like closure...I cannot figure out why I did not pull the trigger." Her voice spikes through the last couple of sentences and when he looks closely he can see tears forming in the ducts.

"Why the hell did I not pull the trigger!" It's not a question and her voice thunders throughout the warehouse, echoing like a million bullets. "He was not a kid, he was not someone knew, why did I hesitate?"

"Because you were in pain." His voice is level and she suddenly turns with an expression that reads surprise. Had she not been speaking to him? "He was behind the boxes, Ziva." Tony stands up beside her, hands gripping her waist. "Then he shot, missed and hit the window. You turned to see where it had been fired from, you had no cover. So he shot you here," His fingers brush along her leg sending a tremble through her spine. "Then here," He taps her shoulder. "And here." His hands rest against her abdomen. "And do you know what you did, Ziva? Do you what you did while blood was pouring out of you? You pressed the trigger and it shot him. You shot your gun and ended his life so that he couldn't take anyone else from this world." He takes her hands in his, pressing his lips to her knuckles as she stares at him wide eyed.

"No, no I did not it was McGee." She shakes her head and makes a motion to pull back but he clings to her, pulls her into his warm embrace. His fingers trail down her spine as he nods.

"Yeah, you did. I read his report." He presses a kiss to the side of her head before pulling back, a firm grip on her forearms as he locks his greens with her chocolates. "You shot him, Ziva and you lived."

"That is not what I remember." She frowns, looking down at their shoes. "I remember McGee shooting because I was the ground bleeding, watching the world flicker by, watching the fireworks through Tali's hair, and seeing you and remembering that I have to tell you..." Her gaze flickers up to meet his and he is pretty certain his heart has just skipped a beat.

"What did you have to tell me, Ziva?" His voice quivers even as he tries to maintain a neutral expression, he already knows what she is about to say and he prays she says it.

"That...that.." She looks up at him and he can feel her shaking underneath him, struggling to find the words that have been harbored for almost ten years. He brushes a strand of hair out of her face, coaxing her to continue because he knows she can do it even if it scares her. "That I love you." It is but a whisper, a whisper against the ring of traffic down below. A whisper in the wind, but it reaches his ears and he doesn't ever remember a time in his life when he was this happy.

"I love you too." He might have wanted to be the first one to say it, but it suddenly doesn't matter as he leans in to press his lips to her soft ones.


	7. G is for Greece

**Note** _ **: I really dislike this chapter, I tried rewriting it only to fail..but anyways expect some cute Tiva fluff for the next couple of chapters (hopefully). I have never been to Greece, what I know is from Google so if something is wrong I do apologize.**_

 _ **...**_

. G is for Greece .

"Athens is so beautiful." Tony sighs as he pulls his girlfriend closer to him not at all surprised when she pulls back, Ziva had never been one for public displays of affection. He grins at her to which she returns as they split apart to allow a woman holding a screaming child against her hip pass between them. They automatically fall back in line, hip brushing against hip as they move through the busy streets towards their hotel room only a short distance from the airport.

"It is beautiful and wonderful that Gibbs let us have a weekend off." His partner comments, running a tongue over her dry lips. "It is nice to get away and have a vacation together."

"It is nice." Tony smiles in agreement. He really is looking forward to just it being the two of them, no distractions, no cases, and no McAbby questioning when they are going to get married and pop out some little peanuts - well that was mostly Abby, McGee was the one who snickered in the background while his friend started planning the wedding much to Ziva's dismay -. It was Tim who let the little speech of "Tony and Ziva are dating and are in love" slip to the forensic scientist who half tackled - half murdered the two agents when they had walked into her lab some hour later to collect some evidence on the current case.

She had went on rambling about how perfect it was and that she had always known they were meant to be. The goth then started asking when they would get married and when their nonexistence baby would be born plus what they would name it. By the time they had managed to squirm out of the lab with the evidence, their wedding was planned for November and their baby would be born in May. If born a boy then Anthony David-DiNozzo Junior the Third - Tony groaned - would join the world, if a girl then welcome princess Kate or Tali - Ziva winced - David-DiNozzo to the world. Ziva pointed out that she would like her daughter to have a more meaningful name but her voice was drowned out by the excited goth who started talking about wedding dresses and continued to talk about weddings or wedding dresses or babies whenever one or the other stepped into the lab.

Eight weeks they had been dating, eight weeks they had tried to keep it a secret to no avail which rightly meant Tony kept getting glares sent at by his lovely partner whenever their paths had crossed the day and the day after Abby found out, eventually she shrugged it off and allowed a comment about a weekend getaway in Greece bubble the surface, he made all of the arrangements and surprised her with tickets.

It came at a surprise to the both of them when Gibbs gave them permission to take off for the weekend but neither missed the slight twitch of their boss' eye. Maybe he wasn't still fully on board with the whole "couple" thing, they couldn't blame him really, they were after all breaking his rule.

"You think Gibbs will be mad at us forever?" Tony scratches his chin as he puts his arm around her waist to help her avoid a few pedestrians that appear to be in a hurry. After they pass she doesn't pull away and he can't help but smile.

She looks up towards him, her chocolate gaze settling on the outline of his jaw as she allows him to guide her through the crowds of the busy street. It takes her awhile to answer, no doubt that she is lost in thought. "No, I think he just needs time, yes?" Her tongue does a once over of her lips again as she quickly dances her eyes along his body before pulling back from the affectionate hold he still has on her.

"Maybe, but I'm kind of worried about him. He hasn't head slapped me in weeks..." Absentmindedly Tony rubs the back of his head where the boss' hand always use to connect with.

Ziva watches him, immediately chuckling at the reaction. "Did you ever think to ask why he has not punished you?"

Tony turned to look at her like such a thing was ridiculous in any and every single way. "Why would I do that?" Shock etches heavily in his voice as he continues to rub his hand against the back of his skull. "The last thing I actually need are more head slaps, I don't need our kids to have a brain damaged father."

Ignoring the comment about their kids, Ziva moves in front of him to pass a group of teenagers who take up most of the sidewalk before settling back beside him. The distance between them is closer, Tony quickly noted as she opened her mouth to respond. "I talked to him, he said you were being mature and that mature men do not need to be head slapped."

"Really?" Tony gasped, more so in shock that Ziva had went and talked to their father figure without his knowing even though he had done just that when she was still in the hospital. He quickly pinched his arm to test if all of this was real; a foreign country once more with Ziva David who had only been shot eight weeks ago. When he didn't suddenly jolt awake, he turned to face her once more. "He said I was being mature?"

"Yes, he said that it took real guts to call him a bastard." She grinned mischievously as she side stepped a little black poodle who was yipping and tugging against his leash, the action brought them even closer.

Tony groaned at her words, he still hadn't told her that little detail about that night in Gibbs' basement when he had still been pissed about almost losing her. Would the boss man really let such a fact slip? Especially when it involved the sniper being insulted? "Did you really talk to him?"

"No." She grinned, pulling her bag - she had refused to let Tony carry it - up on her shoulder. "You sometimes talk in your sleep."

"I do not." Tony looked towards her in contempt, reaching out to grip her waist to guide her away from a hinky looking man in a fedora and brown trench coat even though the weather was around ninety degrees outside. Maybe it was just the cop in him, but for some reason even though Ziva was more than capable of protecting herself, he pulled her in closer. She tensed at the motion and looked up to his eyes for some sort of answer but all she had to do was read his expression. Her hand landed on his chest as she leaned in to his grip, it was odd for Ziva but she was only trying to comfort him. He gave her a gratitude of a smile before continuing with his abjection. "When have I ever talked in my sleep?"

"In Paris." Ziva chuckled, reaching to grip his waist to pull herself just a bit closer as they snugly pass by another couple and several business men. "You do not remember though, it is also the reason you awoke to me asleep on your chest." They both smiled at the distant memory, only a couple of months out of Somalia and she had been hesitant about sharing the bed with him upon finding that there was only _one_ bed and no couch which meant she was trying to sleep on the floor and there was no way he was about to let her do that.

"What did I say?" One of his hands drift up to push back a loose curl before resting against her cheek and giving it a quick brush as she chuckles.

"You are not allowed to know." She gives his chest another gentle pat before pulling out of his embrace and causing both to immediately miss the contact.

"I said something in Paris and I don't even get to know?" He pokes her playfully in the side in disbelief. Paris had been the great "what if". What if they broke the rules? What if they ran away together? They had never brought up the conversation, but like always they hadn't needed to use their voices just their eyes and their eyes refused to shut up.

"No hairy butt, not yet." She captures his hand for a moment, giving it a tight squeeze before dragging him towards the hotel steps and in through the doors. This was probably the first time in his whole life he had been good with simply following because the view was magnificent.

Their room was on the fourth floor and had an ocean view that they immediately dropped their bags and rushed to look at.

"Thank you." Ziva smiled against his chest as they watched the short waves kiss the ocean, the setting sun alternating the water to an enticing blue.

"What for?" He questioned, wrapping his arms tightly around her as they watched a pair of scrawny - from a distance - children chase after a dog while their parents - or who they assumed to be - followed closely behind.

"This," She gestured with one of her hands."Being away with you is nice." She leaned up to press her lips against his in pure thanks, a shiver working its way throughout her at the single thought that she could actually do that and it didn't have to be his cheek.

"You don't have to thank me, sweet cheeks." He whispers against her hair shortly after she pulls back and snuggles back into his warm embrace. His fingers trail affectionately along her spine and through her soft curls as the steady booming of her heart against his chest draws him into a peaceful stance. Without realizing it, he begins to hum which immediately causes Ziva to chuckle.

"You are playing our song." She stirs and rubs her cheek against his and immediately wraps her arm around his side before running her hand down his forearm to link their hands. "Dance with me?"

He smiles, pulls her in closer, adjusts their position, and begins to lead. Against the backdrop of the waves they dance in step, slow, electric. It isn't Berlin, the setting is different and their is no revenge but they both find themselves recalling that night; the sudden bump in their relationship.

The vibration of his throat is steady, light, and airy. It matches in tune with the bliss of the waves from down below. She suddenly pulls him in closer, arms removing themselves for only a split second to wrap around his neck and his falter to her waist. She buries her head against his neck, eyes closing as she listens to his faint heartbeat and the exquisite hum he produces.

"When we were in Berlin," Her voice startles him but even so he keeps in time to the melody, fingers subconsciously lacing themselves throughout her curls as she takes in a deep breath, whatever she has to say is important. "I remembered my father telling me that someday I would dance with a man who deserved my love." She smiles against his neck and he can feel his own facial muscles swelling followed hastily by a sudden soar of nothing but honest to pure feelings for this woman in his arms; _God, he loves her._

"So that was when you fell in love with me?" He ponders, lifting up a hand to gently brush back a loose curl. A smile graces his features once more to see her looking up at him with doe chocolate eyes that show she is nothing but mesmerized and completely in love with him.

"That was when I let myself be in love you..." She trails off as they continue to move slowly on the balcony now only using the symphony of waves, frequent laughter from down by the beach, and the steady drone of traffic as their music. "I do not remember when I first fell in love with you because I tried so hard to not...but it was Berlin that I allowed myself. That I completely decided that I love you."

He presses his lips to hers, savoring the salty honey taste. She hasn't even been out in the water but he can still taste the ocean and with the moan that is muffled against his lips, he can tell that she tastes it too. When they pull back in harmony they continue to dance, clinging to one another closely neither caring about the time or the world. All that matters is them, right in this moment.

"So you really wouldn't name your child Tali?" Not the ideal conversation starter but he is curious of the names she has picked and if her fantasies about the future had ever involved him and two chocolate brown eyed kids whose curly locks were unruly and untamable. If maybe she thought about a dog, perhaps a Labrador or Beagle, that would accompany the aforementioned children and themselves to the park every Saturday before heading off to visit Uncle Tim and Aunt Abby. Maybe even Grandpa Gibbs if he was in for it. Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Ducky would most definitely be there sharing their wise stories to wide eyed children who looked on with nothing but interest.

She tenses underneath his words and he can feel her breath fall slightly uneven as she accepts his question and fiddles her mind for an answer only to sigh in defeat and give a slight shrug against her partner. "Maybe as a middle name, yes? I do not think it is right to name your child after someone you lost. You would only think of them and how hurt you were by losing them." Her voice quivers at the last part and he quickly runs his hand down her back, soothing her until her breaths fall even again.

"I get that." And he does, losing Kate hurt so badly but even so...he wouldn't have this woman in his arms had things panned out differently. He smiles against her scalp that smells of oranges and the faintest hint of gun powder. It is a scent he has come to know and just one more detail he loves about her. "So what would you name them?" Tony's careful with how he words it, not wanting to scare her by implying that he is ready for a family - which in truth he isn't but in the future he wouldn't mind it at all - or put pressure on her, but having a family with Ziva is most definitely on the top ten of his bucket list.

"You do not get to know." She chuckles deeply which goes directly to that sensitive area causing her to smirk in knowing what she had done. "When _our_ children are born I will tell you." Ziva snuggles closer to his neck and for a moment he wonders if she realized the use of the word "our" which implied that she too thought of having children with him. Then he feels her smiling against his neck, her breath tickling him in process, and he knows she used the word on purpose.

"Just don't use Anthony DiNozzo the Third for our son's name." Tony squirms at the thought causing Ziva to chuckle even more.

"Do not worry, that name is in the garage with David."

"Garbage?" His chuckle melts into her's as they continue to move in unison. "When we get married, no matter how mad we are at one another we will dance every single night before we go to sleep." His lips brush against her temple as if sealing the process.

"Is that a proposal, Tony?" Her voice is light, falling into place alongside the roar of the waves crashing down against the beach. His gaze falls to look at her only to find her eyes reading amusement, they both know they aren't ready for such a commitment, not yet, but soon.

"Not yet, sweet cheeks but soon." Tony whispers in her ear, a slight promise that they will get a happily ever after together. She sighs, her breath tickling his neck again, and he allows his eyes to drift shut with thoughts of babies and marriage that will all come in good time.

"And if we are in different cities?" She ponders, running her hand through his hair as she brings up the previous conversation.

"We have skype for a reason ninjagirl25." He grins with her chuckle being the only answer as he slowly picks up his humming, head resting near her's with the background melody of waves.

 **...**

 _ **For the next chapter you will get a sexy beach scene (no smut) and Tony's confession of when he fell in love with Ziva and it may or may not be uploaded today, just depends if it gets finished.**_


	8. H is for Heroes

_Note: This one is incredibly short, I apologize but it seemed like the best place to end it and you get two chapters in one day for the second time in a row!_

* * *

. H is for Heroes .

Warm fingers glide themselves across his bare chest, roaming to the back of his neck and moving north to perambulate through his blonde tufts as his own fingers travel a blinding path down the lengths of her leg while the other tumbles and tangles through her coffee curls. His lips work her's mindlessly savoring each and every taste that she has to offer; strawberries, cupcake, and the faintest taste of salt. _God, doesn't she taste good._ They work in unison, passion hungry for nothing but love and the desire to be one in the same yet again, but even a fool wouldn't make love on a sandy stripped beach no matter how private the location is.

Oxygen becomes apparent, ending their session far too soon but it doesn't stop the other from running kisses along each other's neck, hands still roaming the vastness of the other in the process. They are no stranger to the other's body, but touching one another always sends their hearts into a synchronized unsteady beat. His lips continue to roam her neck, savoring the taste of salt water, sand, and oranges until he can't stand not looking into those gorgeous chocolate eyes. Her brow raises when the contact is disclosed, to feel him pressing his lips against her body always leaves behind a burning sensation that longs for more. She continues to thread her fingers through his hair, watching him as he just stares with the most affectionate smile ever to cross his face; a look of love.

"I love you." He whispers as he lowers himself to press his lips to her's. "I love you." It vibrates in and out of his throat as he trails kisses along her neck and bare chest. "I love you." His lips find her's again, lingering longer than before until he is breathless and has no choice but to push back.

"I love you." She pours out her heart, flipping them over on the red and orange striped towel. Her lips trail along his chest. "I love you." Her voices chokes against his ear. "I love you." He tastes the tears as she presses her lips to his. When she pulls back her face burrows against his neck and for a moment he thinks she is sobbing until a snort escapes from her. He is blindsided, one minute she cries and the next she laughs - _is she okay?_ His fingers continue to lace through her curls patiently awaiting her to settle and read him in on whatever is making her erupt into a series of content spasms.

"I am sorry." She manages to choke out as she pulls herself up and sits on his chest. "I was just thinking..." Whatever she says is drowned against her chuckles and he can't help but to smile; it's the first time he has heard her laugh in a matter of a few weeks and the sound is so beautiful. "McGee is good at foreshadowing events." Ziva finally breathes out, running her hands across his chest as he begins to laugh too at the mention of their book characters and Lisa's desire to make love to Tommy on desert sands in her homeland. They aren't in Israel or a desert but it still is hilarious how their colleague managed to somehow adumbrate the future.

Tony's hands continue to thread through her hair as their laughing subsides and the tears dry from chocolates and greens. He is suddenly awe struck by just how beautiful she is seated on top of him. The thought always crosses his mind whenever she elegantly seats herself on top of him, but she has always been naked and now she is in a black bikini thinking she isn't at all beautiful because of the scars that mark her body. She doesn't believe him when he whispers such words against her ears during their love making and he doesn't blame her because he has never just called her beautiful for the heck of it. He frowns towards his own stupid mistake, sure he has called her sexy but there is a difference and he promises to, in this moment, never go a day without telling her just how beautiful she is. To never go a day without making her feel as beautiful as she is.

"You are the most beautiful thing." His fingers trail down her arm before he flips them over so that he can tower over her. Her eyes read confusion and he can tell she is hesitant to respond, but he doesn't need her to say anything all he needs is her attention and she will in no doubt give it all undivided. "Your hair, your face, your eyes. All so amazing, all so beautiful." His thumb travels to her cheek, brushing it delicately as he stares captivated by her chocolate gaze. "And while your body is all fine, sexy, and gorgeous. It's the woman underneath it all; underneath the hurt, the pain, the scars, that captured my heart the minute I realized she was someone more. Like you, I danced around my feelings until I saw you tied to a chair..." Tony's fingers still as they both remember that day, he can feel her shuddering below him and he immediately treads his fingers again. "I was headed towards a broken path before that day, Ziva, if you hadn't been there...you saved my life, you're my hero." His lips find her's; softly, delicately, and it is only gentle, quick.

When he pulls back her eyes are closed, her hands have stilled in his hair. He quietly wonders if this is what a peaceful Ziva looks like, but then her eyes drift open filled with so much emotion he couldn't possibly try to decipher it all. Her hands roam his hair, tangling themselves in tufts of blonde while she struggles to gain a response to his actions. He has a feeling she is about to say something smart, something that will ruin the moment that they have needed for far too long. "I mean it, you are beautiful and I am going to tell you that every single day for the rest of my life. If I somehow forget I give you full permission to use a paperclip."

She lets laughter erupt around them again, before her hands lower to his neck and she pulls him in for another kiss. It lasts longer, but nothing fierce just passion and love. The type of kisses they plan to have every single day. Like all of their kisses, it ends too quickly but that doesn't stop him from planting a few along her neck as she winds her fingers back through his hair. For a minute he believes they are done talking, that for now they will let their kisses, touches, and looks explain all of the details, but being Ziva she always has to get the last word in:

"You are my hero too."

* * *

 _This might be all today. c;_


	9. I is for Igloo

_Note: Sorry about this being late I had to drive my grandma somewhere. I don't know if I'll be able to get up another chapter today or tomorrow and my computer is about to die, so a new chapter will probably pop up Monday [Or whatever day that is for other people]. I apologize for yet another short chapter, I will try my best to make the next one longer._

* * *

"We should go to Alaska next." He nods squeezing her hand. "So we can live in an igloo and snuggle by the warm fireplace."

"You want to snuggle with me, Tony?" Ziva's eyes glint in amusement.

"Of course." He gasped, hand reaching up to cover his heart as if momentarily stunned."Alright I have another question for you." Tony stated dropping his hold of Ziva's hand to droop his arm along her shoulders as he took a lick of his vanilla ice cream. It was well past a reasonable time for the partner's but they had a flight home in the morning and no way were they about to waste that time sleeping. Instead after the beach they had went back to their room, took a shower, got dressed, and had started making out fully prepared to have a quick round before going sight seeing but then Ziva's phone had rang. Abby had called to make sure that in the three hour gap between breakfast and lunch that Tony had not proposed, Ziva had scowled at their friend's persistence and had tried to hang up almost immediately but Tony had quickly reminded her that Abby would just call back.

Ziva had spent a good hour listening to Abby ramble about the wedding book she had made in the four days since the goth had found out about the duo, actually it came at a surprise to the both of them to find out she hadn't started one sooner but then Tim's voice pipped up on the other line that Abby keeps the new book beside the old one which has pictures of their nonexistent children who were from various morphing sites. Tony, amused at his girlfriend's pain, headed off to grab some towels and another object that took a good thirty minutes to find - much to his dismay. He came back to the room just as Ziva finally hung up.

The partners then headed off for some lunch and to go see a few sights that had been on Tony's bucket list for awhile, it took a good five hours and by the time they finally found their way back to their room both were exhausted but that hadn't stopped them from heading off to the beach, grab some ice cream, and walk along the groggy waves. Tony had been the one to start a game of questions and surprisingly Ziva had complied.

"Did you ever think we would be together?" His brow furrowed as he trailed his fingers along her arm. It was a question he had been asking himself for the past several weeks and to his surprise the answer had always been no. Too many obstacles were forever in their path, to be with Ziva had always been a dream, a fantasy. Something that had been thought of, wanted, but had always been far off, out of reach.

He felt her stiffen beside him upon his question, no doubt the same thoughts traveling through her own mind. "No...even though a part of me truly wanted it all," She paused, eyes turning up to face him. From her look he knew exactly what she meant, she wanted a family with _him_. She wanted the kids, the dog, the house, and the husband with _him._ His heart started pounding as the ocean drew back another wave, quick to send in another to slosh at their feet. "But I never thought it would all come true." She smiled longingly, both knowing that their happily ever after was soon to come.

"Neither did I." His fingers trace her arms again as he allows the quiet to surround them. It was strange being in another country with Ziva, not having some sort of mission or other reason but to just be together. It was nice and strange but he liked it, loved it. He was here in Greece with the woman he loved more than anyone else in the world. He sighed happily, pulling her in closer as a gentle breeze from the blue water fell over them. It hadn't been necessary of course, the weather was warm but she didn't abject.

They continued down the beach in content silence, eating their ice cream, gently touching each other, and listening to the waves crashing softly against the shore. He wasn't sure when he decided to stop or when he decided to crouch down on one knee, tears in his eyes as he took her slightly sticky hand where the ice cream had run over it, but he was sure that this moment was the perfect time to ask even if he said they weren't ready.

She was looking at him slightly confused and made a motion with her free hand to help him up, but he shook it off causing her to frown. He didn't know what was going through her head in this moment, but he knew only one thing was running through his; _Let her say yes._

"Ziva," His voice wavers and he clears his throat in hopes to settle it, now isn't the time to be nervous. As if on cue his hand runs through his hair. "I know we have only been together for eight weeks, but we've been together as partner's for ten...I can't promise you a life of joy. I can't promise you that I'm not going to make mistakes or call you fat when you're pregnant because let's face it, sweet cheeks, I make a lot of mistakes but you...you make me want to be a better me..." He licks his lips struggling to find the words he's been imaging delivering to her for so many years. "I know that we said we would wait, but I don't want to wait Ziva. I don't want to spend another day not being with you, holding you, loving you...I don't want to lose you again. I'm tired of thinking that I might lose you. I don't have the money, because I spent pretty much all of my savings on this vacation but I don't think money will ever matter with us. I can't promise any of the but I can promise to love for the rest of my life...Ziva David will you -"

"Yes." Ziva bites her lip and he can see the tears falling onto her cheeks but suddenly he doesn't care because the woman before him just said yes; _yes._ He pulls her to him, pressing his lips to her's, and suddenly tries to think of a time when he has been happier but to no avail. "Oh, I got you a ring, sweet cheeks. It isn't anything special yet." He strokes her cheek with his free hand as he fumbles through his pockets and fishes out the little box. He takes it out and settles it on her finger, she looks at it for a moment before her eyes fall back onto him. "I'll get you a better one, later."

"It is perfect, Tony." She smiles, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you, too."

* * *

 _Yay!Another lame proposal brought to you by me. Seriously though, that was lame. I apologize. I have never been proposed to nor have I proposed...so sorry yet again for another lame chapter._


	10. J is for Juncture

_Note: I got down to 2,000 words while writing this one and usually when I put something down it just sort of flops out of my brain and well…computers are butt faces so there is that. [Basically the stupid thing decided it wanted to close out of Microsoft without my consent…] Anyways, I am surprised to see someone actually coming back to me after that last chapter [Jeez, who wrote that?] but thank you for your enthusiasm of this story? Or you just came here to make fun of how sucky my romance skills are? That works too. I never said I was good at writing romance, but we all have to start somewhere eh? Any ways, I am pretty sure this next chapter down below will make you the most confused person ever but hey, my brain comes up with these pretty confusing storylines and sometimes you just have to write 'em down….Thank you for the reviews/favorites/follows – I keep forgetting to add that in these things._

* * *

. J is for Juncture .

His dreams had always been pleasant as a child. There was always these rare moments when a nightmare did occur, but somehow, someway or the other he always found a way to deal with them. Typical nightmares of course consisted of the average monster coming to feast upon his fragile bones or after his mother died, watching her die over and over again. During his teenage years, the dreams were consumed of girls and cars, of course basketball had been high up on that list too but not as far as the girls or the cars. As a young man, the dreams continued to be of girls and cars, he never said he was classy. He had been thirty four when his dreams stopped being about girls and started being about women, one woman. Those dreams put an aching in his heart, left him speechless beyond compare.

She was the beautiful woman who sat across from him in the squad room, she slouched provocatively, insulted him, teased him, and often gave him more hassle than she was probably worth. Then one day out of the blue, when he thought she was safe or maybe he just forced himself to believe that, he thought she had died and that was when the nightmares came back. Nightmares that he hadn't protected her enough. When she discovered to not have actually died the nightmares became more of he hadn't saved her from caffeinate addicted psychopath. That went for months before he started seeing her smile again, hearing her laugh, and just look beautiful because she was happy. Then the dreams turned good to dreams of marriage, proposals, sex of course, and maybe a few kids…the dog dreams were his favorite because who didn't love _Lassie?_

It came no surprise to him when he awoke at 0200, the sheets around him ruffled and sprawled about from his inability to sleep in one place, to realize that the dream of holding her, kissing her, and telling her over and over again that he loved her had only been a dream. A dream that started out with him painfully experiencing that she was dying and she needed to tell him that she loved him and ended him proposing something lame that he couldn't quite remember because he really hadn't paid attention to any of their conversations but he did remember the yes and the feeling of excitement that washed over him due to that yes. A yes that he would probably never get, several miles away and many oceans apart where their only connection were phone calls and skype. He was all alone here with no Ziva David to wrap his arms around, to kiss whenever he pleased, or to shout the skies that he loved her.

He rolled out of bed, scratching his jawline that was fixed with a shadow reminding him that he better shave before the big day…well, today. His gaze fell onto the city below wondering what it would be like to have her here with him now. The dream had felt real, but most of his dreams consisting of her did and his heart ached for that.

Tony stretched out his arms, yawning in the process. He then followed through with stretching out the rest of his body parts, there was no way he could go to sleep now after such a vivid dream. He would just have to keep himself busy with thoughts of becoming a boss that would be certain to help get his mind off of her.

He decided to check his phone just in case any emails or phone calls had come in and after a good twenty minutes of shaking the comforter, looking under the couch, pillows, and the bathroom, he found it lying on the kitchen counter were he had placed it earlier that morning when he had first arrived at his new complex. Stifling another yawn against the sleeve of his OSU t-shirt he clicked the button only to be blinded by the rays of light. He quickly scrambled to tone down the brightness before pulling down the notification tab. Sure enough he had three missed calls from Ziva and a voicemail, _man she must be missing him._

Stifling yet another yawn, the young man would hold the phone up to his ear as he started for the fridge in search of something to drink. He closed it several minutes later, realizing that he hadn't been to the store yet nor had he pressed the "listen to voicemail" button. Yep, he was functional at two a.m.

He headed towards the cabinet for a glass as her voice came on the line, slightly strained he noted. "I told you I would call you back but apparently you are asleep…um…we really miss you Tony. I really miss you. Stay safe." And then her voice was gone with a 'click'. Tony groaned inwardly as he mentally smacked the back of his head because one he hadn't turned on the sink and two, he had missed Ziva's calls. That always put her in a bad mood, but at least he wouldn't have to deal with her at work today. Luckily for him he would get to spend the day with whizz kid and man hands.

After another yawn, Tony somehow managed to fill his glass and take a few swallows. He decided to head straight for the shower even if it was still early, but maybe he could catch Ziva at a good time. Taking his phone back in his hands he headed for the balcony, mind quickly remembering the dream where they had danced. Had he made some sort of promise to her? He stared at the traffic down below for a moment as he tried to remember, but finding none he decided to just sit down on the only chair and then press 'one' on his emergency contacts.

Three rings later her wonderful voice answered. "Tony." He imagined her smiling while sitting up in bed or maybe lounging around the house. If this had been his dream she probably would've been in her underwear or absolutely nothing at all.

"Hey gorgeous." He grins, knowing well that she can't see it but they often say it's the thought that counts. "What are you up to and what are you wearing?"

"I am sitting in the squad room running plate numbers while McGee," Her voice pitched in a somewhat annoyed tone. "eats a nutterbutter, he refused to buy me one can you believe that? And, if McGee was not here clothing would not be an option." He can practically imagine the seductive grin that falls upon her face and the gulp of the middle agent at the possibility that his colleagues are having a very dirty conversation.

"Mmm." He hums, smacking his lips with his tongue for good measures. "Can I expect to see that no clothing side of you when I get back?" He prays he hasn't gone too far with the conversation, they are both trying to move forward with short simple steps but he feels like that dream was telling him to hurry up and move along, he isn't getting younger after all.

"Do you want to see me naked, Tony?" Her voice is low, breath almost hitched as she awaits his response. It's the kind of voice his fantasies play out as being her bedroom voice.

"Is that a problem?" He shifts from his position, practically leaning forward to jump to his toes if she tells him that there is no hope, that he should just go get ready for the day and forget about her.

"Not at all." He can hear the smack of her lips in the phone followed quickly by a snort. "I think we scared McGee."

"Good, he's sensitive little brain can't handle grown up conversations but seriously, what are you wearing?" He combs his fingers through his hair before running the tips against the ducts of his eyes to clear them of yellow substance.

"I am wearing a blue t-shirt, the color of your eyes to be exact, and a pair of very, very tight jeans." She replies seductively and he quickly wonders how she knew it was his favorite look on her.

"Very sexy." Tony barks as he jumps to his feet with a sudden blow of a car horn, just a few drunken parties down below. "I had a dream last night, we got engaged."

"That is the third one in a month." Ziva points out, with the distant clicking of her mouse as she continues to busy herself with work.

"Yep…I think I'm trying to tell myself something." He scratches his scruff as he breathes in some much needed oxygen only to release it back out into the stuffy city air. "You want go out with me sometime?"

There is silence on the other line as she stills her clicking and her breath draws in. This might've been the crossed line, the point where he should take back those words and act as if nothing happened but he is tired of taking back words that do have meaning, he is tired of not pouring them out over and over again. He wants her as much as he is sure she wants him.

"I get that we are in different cities, different countries to be exact but they made skype for a reason and I plan to be home every single holiday. You told me before I left that you wanted me to be nothing but happy, Ziva and I do want to be happy but I don't think that is possible without you." He runs his tongue along his lips as he tries to think of something more, but realizes there is nothing more. All of that is the truth so he waits in silence for what feels like hours.

"I would love to go out with you, Tony." He tries to imagine her smile or the look in her eyes but he knows none of that would ever compare to actually seeing it live up and personal. "But we are in different places as you pointed out…we cannot," Her voice stills for a moment to what he assumes could be an interruption of McRuiner or the old boss man. "Do this now, I have to go." He wonders if she frowns as the words leave her lips because he knows he does.

"Alright, goodnight."

"Good morning."

A click and she is gone. Did it really take them being oceans apart to finally grow a pair and sort out there undefined relationship? He knows it isn't fair to either of them being so far away when they want to be so close. Why did he have to dream that stupid dream…

….

His team his wonderful, lively. They treat him with respect and work as they are meant to.

He doesn't get to talk to Ziva for four whole days, in fact their whole conversation is only a few bits and pieces of sparred voicemails and quick emails. As the days drag on he realizes that they can't try the whole distance thing because while he is busy with catching a serial killer he can't at all get her off of his mind, the struggle is real.

On day six, with a very heavy Ziva withdraw they managed to squeeze in a quick thirty minutes of just them, face to face in video chat. He was seated in the breakroom, for once not at all surrounded by orange but more so a caramel, looking through a couple of documents as he chowed down on a granola bar when she requested a chat. Five seconds later her gorgeous face, while slightly flushed popped up onto the screen.

"Well, hello sexy." She smiled mischievously, as she positioned the laptop to get a better view of him in his dark suit and red tie – the one she had bought him last Christmas.

"Hey that's my line!" He cried, gripping his chest as if she had stabbed him in the heart. "How are you, sweet cheeks?" Tony's brow arches slightly as he takes a bite of his bar, the files before him long forgotten with the simplicity of having her.

"Pretty good since the last time you asked, how are you my hairy butt?" Ziva props her elbow up onto her table, to which he believes to either be her desk or the breakroom back in DC. Orange had always been a popular color back then.

"Missing you like crazy…plus, I need an assassin to come help me track down this killer. I can't find any connection to anything besides they wore the same color shirt can you believe that?" He sighed, taking another bite of his bar. "I asked Vance if I could come home…he threatened to fire me. Guess he knew I was wanting back for a women."

"It is alright, Tony. We will find a way." She smiled half-heartedly, the kind that didn't quite meet her eyes. "Besides…boss looks very sexy on you." Her bottom lip drew in as her eyes did a quick once over of his visible body parts. "Very, very sexy."

"See, that makes me miss you more." He frowns, aiming to take another bite of his granola only to find out that he finished it off during the last bite. He quickly crinkles the wrapper and shoots it to the trash can, but not even the perfect shot can make him smile. "If we have to stay like this, Ziva…"

"I know, Tony…I know." Her saddened gaze his all he needs as reassurance and he opens his mouth to add something more only to be cut off by Gibbs' voice and Ziva's hurried goodbye. He isn't sure how much more of this he can take. The job has always gotten in the way of himself and the girl, but this time he refuses to let it.

* * *

 _So basically all of those chapters were Tony's dreams. [coughscoughs] And like I said earlier, there might not be a chapter up tomorrow but it just depends on my schedule. Hope you guys aren't too mad about this, but eh, some fictions kill the duo._


	11. K is for Kickoff

_Note: Hi, how are you? Yes, I know that my last chapter really affected your emotional state, but you really needed to keep in mind that there are still fifteen? Chapters left and this is a Tiva fic...so many possibilities. And all will be nice, I promise...okay, they will all be nice for Tiva. [coughsatthehintoffuturechapters]._

Don'tBeTooMad.

* * *

 _._ K is for Kickoff .

His adrenaline is pumped, the crowds are in the stands cheering him on. He isn't one to ensue chaos, but the time has now called for that deliberate task. He is one to bare the weight of the world and hold onto it tightly, he doesn't fancy himself a hero only a man who wants to do good, be good. The people around him see him as a childish playboy who is at the age of forty two and shows no signs of settling down. The people closets to him; a geek, the goth, a sniper, the story teller, an autopsy gremlin, and the ninja all know those acts are a work of fiction. In fact he plays such roles so magnificently that sometimes it is only the ninja who sees his façade, she tries to help and sometimes he pushes her much like she pushes him. Sometimes they both push and other times they both pull. The time to pull, to take hold of one another has come. The kickoff game has started and while he has never deemed himself a football player, he is about to make the final touchdown and whatever the outcome he will get a victory.

...

It took six months before Tony finally tracked down the serial killer, six months of devoting every other thought that wasn't about Ziva or his team to tracking down a man who was killing naval crew members just because he solely believed that those men were not doing their job. In the long run the man confessed, said he was nothing but proud of what he had done and if he ever got out of jail he would do again, what a psycho.

It took two days before the whole mess was cleaned up. The killer was escorted to jail where he would no doubt get the death sentence for his trial and the team's reports had been written. Agents Cook and Finny gained their next assignment, they were headed to Africa to track down a man who was believed to be selling blueprints of navy ships. It wasn't until at the bar on their final day together while out celebrating that he noticed the matching golden bands on their ring fingers which came at a shock to him for he had only believed them to be a Ziva and himself in the making. They proved that relationships like his and Ziva's could work and he prayed silently that Cook and Finny's could last a long time just like he had every intention of himself and Ziva's.

Tony decided not to call and tell her the news until the third day. He still didn't have word from Vance on his next assignment, but he had already started packing preparing for the long journey home and praying that it _would_ be a journey home. He really, really wanted to go home. It wasn't just to see Ziva, even if that was the most of it, but he wanted to see his team who had only communicated through phone calls and the rare skype call Abby had given every other week. He missed his family and only seeing them would stop the aching in his chest.

She joined his call within five minutes of him texting her if she were free and he didn't think she looked more beautiful than in her polka dot pajamas, coffee curls hanging loosely, and the widest smile he had ever seen.

"I was wondering when you would call me." Ziva's smile grew wider, if at all possible. "Gibbs found out from Vance that your assignment is over." Did he imagine the little jump out of her seat? "Have you heard anything new?"

"Nope, but I take it I get some Christmas time with you before my verdict is established." Tony couldn't stop the grin as he watched her anxiously wiggle in her seat. "Gibbs found out from Vance?" His brows arched as he scratched his chin through the three day shadow. "Or did Gibbs overhear?"

She chuckled, reaching for something out of his view which just so happened to give him a nice look at her cleavage and to pull back several seconds later with a glass of wine. "I do not know which, but I can assure you he has been keeping more tabs than McGee or Abby." She flashed him a quick grin before taking a sip.

"Well isn't that sweet, are they really that worried about me?" He frowned as he watched her tongue graze along her lips, lips he desired to capture with his own.

"Are you kidding? You are all they have talked about for months, I think the new kid..." Her finger reached out to tap her chin, eyes narrowed as she tried to think of his name. "Arnold? Aaron? Aurthur? I forget his name," She frowned before shaking her head, leaning forward once more to set back her glass. "He drives everyone mad, Abby has threatened to kill him at least once everyday...I have gotten up to fifty and I might have stabbed his hand today."

"Is that why you are drinking?" He chuckled, but his eyes filled with concern. Perhaps he would ask Tim to check up on her later, just in case.

"No, the kid deserved what he got and Gibbs played it off with Vance but he did take my knife..." Her bottom lip tucked out as she gave a slight whimper. "I am actually drinking because..." Her eyes suddenly widened as if she had been about to spill some big secret. He watched confused as she struggled to think of something only to clear her throat. "How was your day?"

"I've been packing, so pretty bad. Don't outrun the question." Tony pointed his finger accusingly at the screen as he watched her jaw tightened.

"I am not outjogging the question." She rolled her eyes as if he had been the one to mess up the saying. "I just cannot tell you." The Israeli-American shrugged as she ran a hand through her coffee locks. "You have to wait." Ziva sighed, chewing on her bottom lip as she gave him a sympathetic shrug.

Tony tapped the kitchen counter, where he had been standing when they had started the call, he didn't know what to say or do. His partner, well former but would always be, was drinking and couldn't tell him the reason? Well, she wasn't pregnant by some loser because she was drinking; the not pregnant part was a plus and a plus - no loser or baby that wasn't by himself - and it was a reason that was immediately crossed off. She seemed somewhat excited by the news, but also kind of sad...did such a thing exist? "You really can't tell me." He frowned, searching her chocolate eyes for even the slightest hint only to be hit with another ache as she shook her head.

"Sorry, Tony..." She trailed off as if she had wanted to throw more at the end, but thought better. "But do not be mad, you will hear soon enough. I promise." Tony's mouth twitched at the comment. Was someone else getting married or having a baby? Him and Ziva had already shared a few brief exchanges over the pass few months of wanting a family and had hinted strongly at the family being with each other even if the exchanges hadn't been the "I love you, we should do this" talk, they both had hinted that such a talk needed to be delivered in person. So what was it? What was eating her? His eyes suddenly grew wide as he clamped his hand over his mouth. "McAbby is having a McPeanut?"

"What?" Ziva's gaze snapped to his, her brow furrowing; _well that ruled out that._ "McGee and Abby are not at all thinking of those things, especially with each other." She chuckled, pushing back a loose curl. "No, one is having a baby," Her eyes did a quick once over of Tony as a mischievous smile played across her features. "Yet."

"Are you seriously trying to avoid this by getting me excited for _our_ future kids?" He chuckled, shaking his head. She really knew how to get him off topic.

"No, no, of course not." Chocolate browns did another quick swipe of his visible frame followed closely by a lick of her lips. "Do you want a boy or girl?"

"It's a little too soon for kids, sweet cheeks, I haven't even kissed you yet." He pointed out, before reaching up to grab a glass from the cabinet and heading towards the sink to pour himself a glass. "So why can't you tell me?" Tony pondered as he returned back to his spot, brow arching with a quick sip of his glass. "And don't avoid the conversation."

Ziva sighed in frustration, eyes drawing closed as she contemplated her options. She could tell or deny. Telling him was not at all a possibility, not when it wasn't her information to tell and denying it would only piss him off so she decided to go with the third option; tell him she can't possibly share and that he will just have to accept that. "You will know soon, Tony, I promise but it is not my news to tell."

"Is it at least good news?" He grinned, but it didn't quite meet his eyes.

"For you...perhaps." Her tongue fell across her bottom lip again before she stood up and captured the laptop in hand, he could now tell that she had been in her living room. "Now, what should I wear when I pick you up from the airport?"

"Who said I was coming home?" He chuckled when she gave him a knowing look. "You want to pick me up from the airport?"

"Of course, Tony." The laptop was sat down on her neatly made bed as she walked to her closet to shuffle through it. "You can decide whatever you like, I will wear it just for you."

"Really?" Tony's voice cracked slightly at her words, this comfort with Ziva - this flirty banter that had more meaning was still somewhat new. Sure they had grown closer over the pass two years, building up their trust and honesty, but they hadn't thought to bring in the heavy flirting until the month right before Vance ordered him to Australia. "I always find you the most attractive when you are yourself." He smiled genuinely as he caught her gaze.

"Well, it will be a surprise then." She chuckled, spinning the laptop to climb up into the bed. "So...can you tell me about how you took down your serial killer?"

He gave her his best grin as he allowed the earlier conversation to slip away. The young man gave full depth of catching the killer, his eyes glinting with nothing but pure love as Ziva laughed at all of the right parts. His favorite part of the story was telling it to her, watching the facial expressions she made until her eyes began to droop from exhaustion. "And that my lady is how I caught him, would have probably been tracked down sooner if Vance had sent you along with me."

"You could have thrown me into your suitcase." She grinned, lowering her head against the pillows with a yawn. "I am proud of the man you have become, Tony and I am even more proud of the man you will become." He was quick to catch the glint in her eye, the one that foretold of their future together and he didn't have any other option but to smile genuinely at her and her confidence in him.

"When I get back to DC..." He trailed off, folding his arms against the coffee table; he had changed rooms an hour ago. "I want to do this, Ziva...I want to do us whether the rest of the world likes it or not. We have run from our feelings for far too long."

"I know, Tony and we will...you just have to man down and kiss me." She grinned shyly only for it to be interrupted by another yawn.

"Up." He corrected automatically. "You should get some sleep, sweet cheeks. Give me a call when you wake up?"

"Of course." She smiled, leaning forward so that she could shut off the computer once they had said their goodbyes. "Good morning."

"Goodnight."

Ziva looked as if she were about to add something more only for her head to give a slight shake. Another smile came his way just as the screen changed black.

"I love you." He ran his fingers through his hair, wondering if there would ever be a time in his life where he could exchange those words over and over again with her. Tony thought of his dream and warm kisses on the beach, maybe someday they would be able to do that but it certainly wouldn't be anytime soon with so many miles in between them.

Chewing the inside of his cheek, Tony closed the screen of his laptop before heading towards the bedroom to continue his packing. It was true that in the amount of six months he had failed to buy anything other than a couple of shirts and a few souvenirs that Finny forced him to buy. Nothing special existed in the small place besides two photographs; one of the team and of course Paris.

His thumb briefly ran over the images before he tossed them back onto the bed and reached for his phone, he needed to speak to someone else that was many miles away. He was sure he would get his butt kicked for this later, but to him interrupting the director's sleep would be a price to pay to be back home with his loved ones.

"I want back on Team Gibbs. I'm flying into Washington as soon as I can get a flight." Tony stated as soon as the phone stopped ringing.

"I thought you'd already be here DiNozzo." The director yawned. "You better hurry up, I haven't gone a day without someone begging for me to drag you back." The man scoffed before there was a click that could only be assumed the end of a phone call.

Tony scratched his chin. Had it really only taken a phone call for him to get his assignment which really wasn't an assignment at all? Was he really about to go home? He almost raced to call Ziva to inform her, but quickly reminded himself that even ninjas need their sleep..He could just call her when it was morning back in Washington to surprise her with him being only a couple of hours away. Tony wasn't usually one to use his badge to gain a quick flight out of somewhere, but desperate times called for desperate needs and he was pretty sure that kickoff season had just begun. DiNozzo, one. The World, zero.

* * *

 _So the next chapter will have them being reunited, yay! What is it that you think Ziva is keeping a secret about? What do you think she was going to add before deciding against it? I would really like to know your opinions on that, assuming you aren't all pissed at me...I deserve to be pissed at, I admit but the next chapter will make you very satisfied. Oh and what do you think the next word will be?_


	12. L is for Longing

_Well hello._

 _I really struggled whilst writing this one, but more of that down at the end. I'll try to get another chapter out today because this one is pretty short._

* * *

. L is for Longing .

To see her took his breath away. Not because she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, although that could have been part of it, but because she was there. She was here, right before him wearing the widest smile he never thought would ever cross her features.

While he wanted to run to her, to swoop her off her feet, he knew better in the matter - he was no Ray. Instead, he walked to her, his pace a little rocky because seeing her had literally made him a bit weak. One hundred steps was the amount it took to finally be near her and when he did get there, all they could do was look at one another, letting there eyes speak for them.

Five minutes it took for their spell to be broken, not their longest form of eye sex, by Tony reaching out to push back one of her curls. "Hey, sexy." The man isn't sure how he maintained such a steady voice, but somehow he did.

Ziva answers with a chuckle as she clasps her hands together, her smile only growing wider as her chocolate gaze does a quick once over of him. "Shalom, Neshama."

"Is that sexy in Hebrew? Ne-shomo. Nes-hamu. How do you say it again?" He frowned taking her offered arm to head out of the airport.

"Neshama." She responds, calling it out slowly enough to hit all of the syllables. "And it does not mean sexy."

"Oh?" He chuckles, tightening his hold on her arm. "What does it mean then?"

"I will let you in on the secret once you kiss me." Ziva's tongue takes a path along her bottom lip as she does a quick once over of her partner again. "I think you will like the meaning though."

"You and your secrets." He huffs, inching his fingers down to lace with her's. It's a bold move, but surprisingly she doesn't pull away. "Speaking of which, will you tell me the other one. The one where you swear up and down that no one is having a baby."

"And who is it you would like to be having a baby, Tony?" She shakes her head, causing a few of her curls to tickle his arms. "You should put a coat on, it is freezing."

"I don't have one." He frowns, stopping them in place.

"Good thing I am looking out for you then." She releases their hands to pat his cheek playfully before reaching at her side to grab one of his coats. He didn't realize she had it, all of his stuff was in storage.

"Where did you get this?" He eyes her while slipping in to the brown coat, hand automatically seeking out her's once he had finished.

"I may have picked a lock or two." She smiles and he answers with a chuckle along with pulling her closer. "How was your flight?"

"Well aside from a kid throwing a tantrum every five minutes, It was nice but my favorite part was seeing you." He smiles affectionately at her arching brow. She offers him a brief pat on his chest before reaching out to push open the airport doors. The cold wind is unexpected after months in such a warm climate, his body immediately begins to shiver but the action is rewarded with Ziva moving in closer.

"I am glad you enjoyed your flight and your favorite part just so happens to be mine too." She gazes up at him with a smile that radiates her features. "Do you have to go see Vance?"

"Sadly, yes but then I am all your's." He grins, brow furrowing as she leads him down the sidewalk instead of towards the parking lot.

"I look forward to that." She looks towards him again, her tongue doing another swipe of her bottom lip.

"Do you have something planned for me, Ziva?" He chuckles although his voice is hinted with seriousness.

"If I did not, I would be terrible but I am not the one who is throwing the party."

He doesn't get to respond as they cross to the side of the building and she abruptly pushes him against the wall, tossing her arms around his neck.

"I have missed you." She swallows breathless and he knows their time for keeping length has disappeared. "I have missed you a lot, Tony." He knows what she is saying; _we have held out for far too long._

"I love you, Ziva." His breath comes out in small puffs as he lowers his forehead to her's. "I love you, I long for a future with you, nothing or no one can or will every change that." The words are muffled by his own strange emotion, an emotion caught on the tide of love, longing, and desire.

"I love you, too." Her eyes flutter closed as she draws in a sharp breath, her hands tangling in his blonde tufts as she struggles against her own emotions. "I want you, I have for so long..."

"I know, I know...but none of that matter's now, okay?" He watches as her lids pull open, as she reads his eyes and smiles at the honest truth in them. No longer are they apart, no longer do they have to wait or long for something that feels so far away. Right in this moment they have finally given each other their hearts and they have made no plans in ever taking it back.

"I guess I should kiss you now?" Her answering chuckle is when he sweeps her into his arms, drawing her lips to his and sure he has seen many movies where the guy and girl - or in this case woman - finally have their moment but he doesn't think any of those movies portrayed exactly how incredible it feels.

Tony DiNozzo, Two. The world, Zero.

* * *

 _So yeah...I felt like it was a bit rushed but I also figured they had waited far too long [ten years] but that was my own fault. I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter like I disappointed myself._


	13. M is for Magnet

. M is for Magnet .

She pulls him in like a magnet. The temptation to keep kissing her is all too strong, but he can't feel his toes and her glove-less fingers are bound to get frostbite. She leads him hurriedly back to her car which was luckily only a few steps away. He lets her lead, feeling all too light because this can't possibly be real. This has to be another dream. Now he just has to wait for the proposal scene and then it's all over, he thinks watching as she flips on the heat and brings her hands to it. He spies a moment, a chance to be in sync with her once more. He snatches her hands, kissing her fingers until she begins to wiggle them - letting him know that he can stop, but he doesn't want to stop. He wants to keep kissing her and loving her until the day he dies.

"Neshama, we should stop. You have a meeting." She frowns at her own words, at the problem that they have to be logical about this. He can't stop kissing her though, he needs to feel her - to feel that this is really happening and not just another one of those dreams. That this isn't another delusion his mind has created all because he can't truly be with her. He stumbles to catch her lips, to capture her breath away. He savors her flavors of banana muffin and green tea. "Neshama." She purrs, running her hands through his tufts.

 _Please let this be real._ He silently pleas to the great almighty God above. If this is a dream, he never wants it to end.

He tries just that; rolling his tongue along her bottom lip until she gives entry, tangling his tongue with her's as they fight for a heated dominance, treading his fingers through her curls, and enjoying the way she moans as he does all of it. His attempts eventually fail when the need to take in oxygen becomes to great and _Goodness_ isn't it too great. His lungs scream the second he releases her lips, but he doesn't have the chance to think about oxygen or how the windows are fogging because the second his lips leave her's she travels her lips along his cheek, neck, and collar bone.

She sheds him of his jacket and pulls herself into an uncomfortable position, her stomach pressed against the parking brake, as she tries to get closer. To feel him, to touch him, to kiss him. Apparently she needs this to be real too.

When his lungs no longer scream, he finds her lips. His hands run a path along her body, taking care to be gentle for the contents are priceless after all. They last only a minute before she breaks the kiss, the moan emitting from her chest cutting off as she rests a hand on his cheek. "We have to take you to your meeting."

"Being with you is more fun." He points out, capturing her hand in his to press kisses to her knuckles.

She chuckles at this, but slumps her body back into the driver's seat to state a fact that the time to stop kissing and be serious has come. "It is, Neshama." She admits, reaching back behind the seat for the seat belt which reminds him that he must slip his own on. "But we have to be serious for a few hours."

"Only a few?" He teases by leaning forward to brush his lips to her cheek. She flashes him a smile as she turns her body to check that the way to back up is clear.

"You already said you were all mine later." Ziva licks her lips as she changes gears and starts towards the exit. "Yes?"

"Oh you bet." Tony grins, tightening his hold on her hand. He takes a moment to look out towards the city, the city he has missed for the pass six months. "Hey, Ziva?"

"Yes, Neshama?" She looks at him with a smile, her chocolate gaze glinting in such a way that he prays his own eyes reflect.

"Do you think you can pinch me? This doesn't feel real." She chuckles at this, but instead of reaching over to tighten his skin between her index and thumb she slams on the brake causing the seat belt to push against his throat. "Thanks, sweet cheeks." He chokes, her laugh the only background melody he needs.

...

They make it to headquarters right on time. Their bodies distant as they enter the squad room, already planning to keep them a secret promising to tell the others when the time is right.

"Look how cute they are!" Abby shrieks racing towards them. "I can't believe you two are together!" She tosses her arms around the both of them, pulling them closer and closer in her unobtainable joy. "This is _perfect."_

Ziva shares a look with Tony, which he thinks questions how their forensic friend could possibly have figured out about them in a matter of thirty minutes. When Abby finally pulls back, they both struggle to compose themselves which is not truly needed as their friend carries on to the other few gathered in the squad room - Palmer, Ducky, and Tim - about how she had always known Ziva and Tony were meant to be.

He catches Ziva's chocolate gaze which tells the story of her being slightly annoyed but also amused. If they were alone right now, he would probably kiss her.

"Look at them!" Abby cheers pointing at the two who have formed themselves in a cocoon of eye sex. "I want details, Ziva." The woman demands, reaching out to steal her friend and carry her off to the lab down below to look at wedding dresses - Tony thinks he hears but nothing can be determined when looking into the disappearing eyes of the woman he loves.

He turns back to the other men, all wearing a knowing grin and he has to run his fingers through his hair. Abby technically just spilled their secret which means telling them that it is the truth couldn't really get him in too much trouble with the Israeli-American, right?

"Special Agent DiNozzo." Vance's voice barks saving the man from spilling or not spilling any secrets.

Tony takes off automatically, bounding up the steps with much energy. He suddenly feels like a love struck teenager. Vance leads the way to his office, heads straight for his desk, and plops down into the chair with much ease. "Congratulations on closing your case." The man nods, but sends him a glare that tells Tony he will no doubt get a lashing for awaking his boss at whatever time it had been. "How did it feel to lead a team?"

"Great," Tony grins answering with the honest truth. "The team was amazing. I've met few agents like them."

"Good. How would you like your own team?" Vance crosses his elbows on the table as Tony's eyes widen. His own team? That was the dream, not the American dream of course, but still one of his dreams.

"Where at?" That's the first thing he asks, he has no plans on traveling miles and miles away again. To have to depart from his team again would be a death sentence.

"Not really there yet, haven't put together everything but I'll let you know as soon as possible. You'll be on Team Gibbs until then." The man nods, turning towards the rest of the folders on his desk. "I'm guessing if it's away you want to include David with that package?" The Director's eyes falls back to him with a knowing glint. Did everyone know they were together?

"That would be preferable." He nods, swallowing the other part of that sentences; _just pack everyone else up too._

"Great, I already spoke to her awhile back. Surprised she didn't tell you sooner." He chuckles, shaking his head. "Reminds me of Jackie sometimes."

Tony's heart does a little jump at the comment; it's the first time in several years that the director has mentioned his late wife to anyone but his children, Tony is sure.

"Well, you best be getting on your way. The last thing I need is to be interrupted by David every five minutes about when you'll return." The man flicks his fingers towards the door, hinting at Tony to leave. He's nailed in place for a moment though because his girl had been doing everything she could to bring him home to her, _Goodness_ he needed to kiss her right this very second.

He gives the Director a final nod before traveling the path back to the squad room, where he finds the beauty who somehow managed to escape from Abby to sit back up with the men. He has every intention of heading to her only to find the boss man in his path. _So everyone did know._ "Hey, boss. I heard you missed me." He grins, in that oh-so special DiNozzo way only for it to be awarded with a grunt. "I guess you heard about me and Ziva..." Another grunt. "I didn't know about being back on your team until a couple of seconds ago." He runs his fingers through his hair in a nervous fashion.

"Didn't say I was against it, DiNozzo." The man points out before taking a sip of his coffee. "She told me awhile back that she would defy me just to have you.

"So...you're cool with it?" He tilts his head, uncertain of this conversation with Gibbs but he is pleased to find out Ziva talked with him long before.

"Didn't say I was." The older man nods before turning around to head for the steps. Tony follows almost immediately; he always has his boss' six.

...

It took them ages to finally break away from the team and head back to Ziva's place. Tony had to be filled in on all of the gossip that had come around, Abby had pointed out all of the fine details making sure to include every second the man had missed from his departure. Everyone else had laughed along until Gibbs barked that this was a working place and it was time to get back to work, Tony had said his goodbyes pleased to find Ziva had taken off for the day.

They had traveled back in comfortable silence, hands linked together as they shared a few stolen looks.

They tumbled into the apartment struggling for much need breath after he had tugged her from behind while she struggled with the keys, once more he had held out for far too long and he needed to have her with him. She shut the door behind them, pressing the lock into place just as he grabbed her from behind again to push her up against the door - the door handle hitting her back.

"So that was your secret then?" He chuckles pressing a few kisses along her neck.

"Part of it." She admits through a moan that gets muffled against his coat. She works her hands up across his chest, spreading her arms both ways to shred him of the thick layer. "But you do not get the rest until later."

"You and your secrets." Tony frowns, roaming his lips to her's. They battle until the war comes to a tie and oxygen needs to feel their lungs. "When do I get to hear this one?"

"Soon, Neshama" She promises, jumping into his arms before he carries her off towards the bedroom.


	14. N is for Neshama

. N is for Neshama .

 _My soul._

She tells him as she runs her lips along his bare stomach, her chocolate gaze never leaving his ever changing hazels.

Eventually, much to his relief and enjoyment, the teaser draws herself north to plant a kiss to his lips. He catches the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her wild, unruly curls, to hold her in place. He has never been addicted to someone before in his entire life.

 _Neshama._

She replies later that morning when he wraps his arms around her waist and buries his face into her neck while she cooks their breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, sausage, and fruit. He forgets to ask her why she calls him _my soul_ as she turns in his embrace to trail kisses north and to his lips. He thinks it has something to do with a conversation so far down the road about soul-mates, but he gets distracted and it gets burned much like the toast.

 _Neshama._

She mumbles in her sleep the following night that is quickly accompanied by a scream. He finds out later that this is a nightmare, she refuses to tell him in fear that it will make him not love her anymore.

 _I love you._

He replies to that ridiculous statement, catching her hands as she prepares to leave. He pulls her close then, trailing kisses over any and all visible skin until he knows she comes to the conclusion that his love for her will never become dry like Somalia.

 _My soul._

She purrs against the roar of the shower. He barely hears it, but there is no mistaking it. Like a short few minutes ago, he pulls her to him claiming his lips to her's.

 _Sweet cheeks._

He chuckles as she forces him into a suit that she bought for his party. He doesn't get _why_ they have to go to this party, staying cocooned in the cream colored bed sheets with her is sure to be more enjoyable. Apparently he says that out loud because she threatens that Abby will murder the both of them after they manage to pop out a Tivalet.

 _Neshama._

She clings to him the night they find out their father is dying.


	15. O is for Oblivion

**If you are sensitive to the idea of death do not read.**

 **I flipped a coin...**

* * *

. O is for Oblivion .

 _"And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."_

He isn't sure of why the _Fight Club_ movie quote comes to mind the second the doctor tells them they still have hope. That hope is always an option when it comes to these things. He doesn't think they have much hope though, not when the one who leads them is lying in a hospital bed struggling to breathe because a knife was lodged in his chest.

He doesn't think they have much hope when the best of them is sitting on the floor with his hands covering his face because he can't stop the tears.

Not much hope is coming their way as Abby and Ducky fight the doctor to find other options.

Not much hope when the ninja is out in the garden punching a brick wall over and over again because she is pretty certain this was her fault.

He doesn't think they have much hope because they have ran out of luck. The money jar is empty, the grim weeper hovers about and he is ready to collect his dues. Is it possible for them to still have hope when the one who taught them all is close to his last breath?

...

She leans into him, inhaling his musky scent. The tears still fall down her face and it is all he can do not to scream out from the death grip she holds on his hand. He knows she thinks it is her fault, that she didn't react fast enough - that she didn't do something to save her father.

She has already lost one, he doesn't think she can handle losing another.

...

His fingers work her curls, the moonlight glistening through her tears. He wants to cry himself because he is losing yet another person - another person he couldn't quite save, but he has to be her anchor. He has to be her anchor today while they wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

She hasn't stirred with the exception of her sobs since he first grabbed her wrist and pulled her shuddering body to him, lifted her in his arms and sat down on the bench. Her head is in his lap. If he leans over far enough he can see the red stains on her face that keep getting redder and redder, but his gaze settles for her fist that is bruised and distorted. There is no doubt in his mind that she broke it. There is no doubt in his mind that she doesn't care.

...

"Neshama?" She whimpers, taking her working hand and squeezing his all the tighter. It's the first time she has spoken and the simple word gets twisted and unorganized.

"Yes?" He strokes back a coffee curl, his heart beating rapidly in hopes that she will talk to him and not shut him out. That this, Gibbs _dying_ , will not break them - not break her.

"Do you think he will go to Heaven?" She sounds so child-like, so un-Ziva like. His heart aches as he nods, the only answer he can give because tears are falling from his face and he knows that if he says a word his voice with crack.

...

It takes two hours before she notices her hand. It takes another one for her to get up and ask someone to fix it. He follows her, allowing her to squeeze his own possibly broken fingers. They still haven't gotten the verdict, Ducky says they have to wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

He doesn't think that waiting will save them.

...

With her hand all stitched up and put into place, he thinks she will be okay that she won't keep blaming herself of all she didn't do.

He should have known better, because guilt he also carries heavily upon his shoulders.

...

She quits crying when Ducky comes in bearing the news that breaks everyone but her. It's as if she has accepted the verdict long before it was delivered...

She doesn't lean on him again.

* * *

 **You shouldn't flip a coin when you can't decide.**


	16. P is for Parting

**This deals with the aftermath of the last chapter. I say the same thing as I did then,**

 **If you are sensitive to death do not read.**

* * *

. P is for Parting .

The casket is made from sandalwood, sawed down to be smooth. An American flag lies over top of it like a mother holding her child.

 _He_ gets to see _his_ mother now. _His_ child. _His_ Shannon. Jenny, Mike, and Kate. _He_ gets to see them all, hold them, be with them all.

He feels numb, not a muscle in his body feels functional and if it weren't for the tight hold of the goth he thinks he would fall. Plummet to the ground and fall face first and he wouldn't even care.

His heart aches, it feels beaten and tattered.

He makes a joke about how this is probably fake and the white haired man is probably in Mexico sipping Bourbon.

It gets lost in a sea of tears that could quite possibly be his own.

...

She didn't show up for the funeral nor did she come to the after dinner. He thinks this is her shutting him out again... two long years of hard work only for it all to be thrown away. It hurts to accept that as the truth, that she would resort to her old ways. He prays she doesn't, that she doesn't allow the past two years to mean nothing to any of them. That Gibbs didn't waste ten years teaching her that love didn't need to be deserved.

...

She's not home when he gets there. He finds himself kicking the back of the couch feeling as though his suspicions were correct.

...

He's in the shower when the door closes shut. He pays no mind to it, knowing that if she wants him around she will come to him.

It takes a full five minutes before that happens. Just as he is washing his hair the bathroom door pulls open, it takes her a moment to undress before she steps in. Her eyes are puffy, cheeks are red, and he can see tears still forming.

"Where were you?" His voice remains calm as he hesitantly reaches for her, his own tears beginning to form as she leans into his hold and travels the path to embrace him.

"At his house...I could not go to the funeral. Not with all of those people." He nods against her coffee curls, one of his hands running through them in understanding because he does understand, he couldn't handle all of those people either. "I should have been there for you though." She shakes her head against his chest, a bit of wetness falling down his abdomen that he knows isn't the spray from the shower. "I am sorry." She whispers.

He pulls her closer, tighter. His eyes draw shut as he tries to not only quiet his own sobs but her's too. The reality has finally hit him, like a cold hard stone.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs is dead.


	17. Q is for Quietude

**Once more, if you are sensitive to death do not read.**

 **This and the next chapter should be the last ones where it is heavily mentioned.**

* * *

. Q is for Quietude .

They get five days off on Vance's orders. Death doesn't wait even if five days will never be enough.

...

He isn't sure when the tears finally stop, but it's around the time Ziva heads back to Gibbs'. He would've gone with her, he should have gone with her, but it would feel far too wrong being in the quarters that his father once occupied.

It seems strange in a way, to have gone two whole days with a phone call telling them to "gear up". It almost seems like a dream.

For so many years he thought it was impossible for Leroy Jethro Gibbs to die, but now he's gone...leaving behind four kids, a best friend, a niece and a goddaughter.

The world feels tilted off of it's axis, so disarranged and he barely makes it five minutes before the tears start falling again.

...

The exotic creature runs idle phalanges through blonde tufts. Chocolate gaze pulls him closer and closer as his body wracks in violent sobs. He isn't sure why he cries, it feels pointless in fact. Why should he cry as if his tears will somehow awaken the dead and Leroy Jethro Gibbs will pop above the damp earth the biggest glare on his sniper face?

He never cried this much with Kate or Jenny, but he knows that wasn't the same. Four days ago, only four days ago he lost a boss, mentor, friend, and father. He lost the man who he thought would let his own kids call him grandpa and would chart them off for ice cream when he and the exotic creature needed a few hours. He lost the man who wasn't suppose to die, who was suppose to live on forever and ever. Who would gray, but would never fade.

She shushes his tears with her gentle fingers, roaming his cheeks it is only when he lifts his head to thank her that he sees that she is crying to.

He pulls her close, holds her close and makes a vow right then and there:

Ziva David will not die before himself.

What he doesn't know is, she makes the same vow but for him.

...

Tears dry up with rain that fell since the day they buried him.

She drags him to the car and they drive to the cabin that their mentor once built. They need the quietude, they need the peace.

* * *

 **This'll probably be the last one today, although it just depends but either way I hope you have a fantastic day. c:**


	18. R is for Rules

**This should be the last warning: If you are sensitive to death do not read.** **My brain might come up with another sad chapter so...just stay strong.**

 **And yes, Quietude is actually a word. I questioned it too.**

* * *

. R is for Rules .

There are seventy eight rules and against everything he ever told them, he did write them down.

The four children he left behind decide after two weeks to go and pack everything, planning to give everything to the Salvation Army and Semper Fi Fund knowing it would be what the boss wanted. They don't find the silver tin box until late afternoon when Tim and Abby race off to get lunch, their minds needing the break from shuffling through Gibbs' stuff and because he knows their innocent minds can't handle all of this he forces them to go all the way to a Chinese restaurant that is almost fifty minutes away.

He has every intention of having most of the house packed and stored away before the duo come waltzing in with the food, but when he shuts the door behind them he recalls not seeing Ziva for the pass two hours. Worried that she might be off crying, he beings his search.

The basement is first, the only room in the house the quartet have steered clear of and he knows the reason why the second he lands on the final step. Bourbon and sawdust is the first thing he inhales, a scent they have all cherished along with the sprinkle of coffee and it causes his throat to tighten in such a way. He does a brief scan, praying to God that he doesn't have to go through the basement but knowing in the long run that it will inevitably be him; he can't let innocent hearts feel anymore pain.

With his throat still tightening and his heart aching all the more, he journeys to the kitchen, checks the downstairs bathroom without finding the Israeli-American. This is when he starts getting _Abby worried_. Where would she go? Sighing and praying that he does find her upstairs, he takes off. First the spare and then the bathroom before pausing in front of the boss' door; another domain they have refused to wander.

It seems too...private and wrong to have to venture in. His hand stills against the door handle and as if on reflex he draws his attention to the left and then the right in searching for the ghost of a head slap that will never come. His throat tightens all the more as he manages to turn the knob and takes a deep breath because she has to be in here, right?

Right. She's sitting on the floor, a tin box around her with a smile carving her features - a smile he hasn't seen in weeks - as she looks at all of these little bits and pieces of papers. Her brow furrows and un-furrows as she looks over them all. Her hair hangs over her shoulders, covering her face so he doesn't see the tears until she looks up at him.

"He wrote them down." Ziva hesitantly whispers as she holds the papers out to him. "All seventy-eight."

It takes Tony forever to realize what she's talking about and when he finally does all he can do is walk over and sit down beside her, though it is slightly painful he manages to with her in between his legs. He captures one of the cards in his hands just as she leans her head back onto his shoulder, his arm automatically stretches out to wrap around her stomach and rest upon her side. "Rule sixty nine," Tony reads, a smile carving his own features. "never trust a woman who doesn't trust a man."

She snuggles close to him, pressing her smile to his cheek in a quick kiss before reaching at her side for another card out of the tin box. "Rule eighteen, it is better to ask for forgiveness than for permission." They stay silent for a moment as the realization strikes them; they could have used this rule all along.

He tightens his grip on her, putting rule sixty nine on the other side of the tin box to pull out another one. "Rule seventy six," He pauses as he reads it over and over, mouth falling slack. She looks up at him, confusion evident in her furrowed brow as she quickly takes the card and finishes for him.

"Rule number twelve is not for them." Her hand runs along his thigh before resting on his knee. "Do you think..." She cuts herself off with a sigh as she leans back closer to him, capturing his musky scent just as her hair catches one of his tears as he nods.

"I wonder when he made that one up." He tries to joke only for it to come out slightly broken and disoriented. Her other hand finds his and she squeezes it tightly as she lifts up her chin to peck his cheek.

"Probably a few months after you left." Ziva purses her lips as she shifts in her position so that her chocolate gaze can hold his ever changing hazels which were currently green. "I...was having complications in the woman department," Her gaze narrows as she tries to help him understand, he quickly does and squeezes her knee to help her keep going. "I was not going to tell you until later, but I suppose now you deserve to know." She smiles softly, a hand reaching out to roam his blonde tufts before falling into her lap to clasps the other. "I was having troubles and they decided to test me for many things...having children were one of those things." She pauses again, swallowing the tightness in her throat.

He brushes back one of her tears, praying that everything with her having children would be okay. He wanted children with her someday, whether that was soon or not he hadn't quite elaborated on. "After the testing I was...worried and scared. I showed up here because I needed someone to talk to while I waited for the news. When it came I was so relieved that everything was alright and he looked at me with this twinkle in his eye," She pauses, as tears fall rapidly down her olive toned cheeks. "He said "Ziva, you and Tony are going to have the most amazing children."" She chokes before burying her head against his chest as she begins to sob, Tony's fingers run down her spine humming a soft 'shh', but who he was saying that to, he didn't know.


	19. S is for Sycophant

**_Sycophant ~ a person who acts obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain advantage._**

 ** _Hi, hi. This chapter isn't all that sad, just a bit of Tiva fluff._**

* * *

. S is for Sycophant .

The Israeli-American rolled her neck. Side to side. Up to down. Side, Up, Side, Down.

She was in the kitchen preparing a nice meal of spaghetti, Tony was on his way home after a brief meeting with the Director of filling the empty seat straight across from Tim. Another thing that seemed to violate all they had ever been taught even if it had been three months. In truth, not one minded the extra hours they had to pull, years with their mentor had offered them a strength in that department, but Vance's orders had been clear, "we have to fill the desk DiNozzo". She supposes that's what the late meeting had been about.

Her fingers draw along the counter, taking hold of the box of noodles as she hears the soft jingle that can only be her lover returning to their minuscule abode. Her hands chart to the spoon in the crimson sauce dabbled with bits of spiced greens just as the jingle ends and the slow creak of the door falls into place. She listens to him dropping his keys on the table she keeps by the door, the sound of his shoes going off - one, two -, the door falling shut, and the greatest sound of his foot falls as he follows the ambrosial aroma that will lead him to her.

For his sake, she pretends to be too wound up in preparing their meal.

For his sake, she pretends to jump as his hands slither a path across her sides, hips, and fall to her abdomen. His breath tickling her ear as he plants a tender kiss to her olive toned cheeks before whisper: "You're losing your touch."

She does what he would expect, she laughs and spins in his grasp. Her arms tangle themselves around his neck as she pulls him in. It is so...normal.

She whimpers when he pulls back but if she doesn't allow him to leave the sauce will burn and the last thing need is to eat takeout for the fifth time this week. "You had a good day, yes?" The odd words tumble from her lips, she has seen him all day yet asking this question seems...right.

"Well of course, I saw you."

She chuckles in response, ignoring him as he runs his hands along her body that reacts no matter how hard she fights.

"We should have a home cooked meal tonight, there is no reason to not be chisel, yes?"

"Civil?" He furrows his brow, drawing his lips across her neck and smiling as she moans.

"You are not fair, Neshama."

"Never said I was, sweet cheeks." He points out, flicking off the burner and setting the food to the side before turning her to face him. "I missed you."

"In the two hours you were gone?" She teases, but doesn't allow him to finish as she mixes her lips with his. Honey and mint.

His scent tangles with the air drawing in an exotic aroma that makes her all the more turned on. Tony's fingers roam the vast unknown of her unruly, wild curls as she jumps up, legs wrapping around his waist. He gets the memo, setting her down on the island to grip her bottom only to have her place a hand on his chest to halt his movements.

He looks up with confusion, gaze following a path to the brown paper bag he had brought home. "I brought dessert," He replies to her unasked question. " _Chunky Monkey,_ your favorite."

She turns to face him, a look of affection slain across her features as she runs a hand through his tufts of blond. " _Chunky Monkey_ is not my favorite, Tony."

"What?" The man arches a brow in confusion as he pushes himself back a little. "Whenever we get ice cream you always get _Chunky Monkey_."

"I always get it because it is your favorite." She smiles genuinely as she rests a hand against his cheek. "My favorite is _Cookie Dough._ "

He wrinkles his brow wondering why in the world he had never learned such a thing in ten years, but he loves this feeling. The feeling of learning something new about her. A grin replaced his features as he swooped his fair lady in his arms, promising himself to learn something new about her everyday for the rest of their lives.


	20. T is for Truth

_**Only six more chapters to go, but don't worry I have many more Tiva stories planned.**_

 ** _Warning for the first part; if you are sensitive to death do not read. The second part should be good though._**

* * *

. T is for Truth .

"I'm going to ask her to marry me." The man sighs, burying his hands in a pit of black. "I don't know when...I just know that I am."

The gravestone before him offers no words, not even a grunt but the breeze does blow leaving a feeling of a ghost head slap. He smiles at that, hand automatically falling against sandy tufts. "I know, I know. Marriage is probably not the conversation you want to have..." He chuckles, shaking his head as he crouches down against the damp earth; the spring has been wet this year.

"I'm using my mother's ring, got it resized and everything...I know you probably never picked me for being the type to settle down, you thought I'd be a playboy forever...in truth, I did too." His hand runs through his sandy hair as if nervousness suddenly struck. "I don't know if she'll like the ring, but she's got to, ya know?" He scratches his chin, reaching out to pull a weed that has grown since his last visit.

"Sorry, I don't get around here much. Work really kicks my butt." The ghost of a head slap strikes his skull again and he gives a wide grin. "Sorry, boss!"

His tongue runs along his lips as he thinks of something more to say only to fail with a sigh. "Tell Kate, Jenny, and Mike I said hi."

His hand rests upon the tombstone, jaw locking into place as he pulls himself to his feet. "See you next week."

...

"Honey, I'm home!" Tony bellows, wide grin claiming his features as he kicks off his shoes, keys falling against the table as he closes the door with a gentle creak. Believing her to be in the kitchen, he immediately takes that route, feet pressing softly against the lush carpet and then the hard wood floor until he rounds the short corner of their new place. Boxes still litter the kitchen much to his surprise, he could've sworn she had left work early just to take care of that problem. "Ziva?" He frowns, peeling off his socks and starting towards the bedroom only to find it empty as well; odd.

Scratching his sandy tufts, the man starts for the balcony that leads from the bedroom. The cream curtains block the door but as he tosses them back he can see her curvy outline. He pulls the handle with ease, smile becoming wider as she tilts her head to look at him. "Well, hey." Tony chuckles, stepping towards her. "What are you doing out here, gorgeous? I know it's spring, but -"

"Come here." She beckons with her hand reaching out for his to pull him to her. His arms wrap around her as he inhales her exotic scent, eyes drawing close with roar from the city below. She captures his hand, slides it down to her stomach and it takes him a moment - just a moment before he feels the soft tap; proof of their love.

He smiles through her scalp, inhaling the scent of orange and vanilla. "Our son is going to be a ninja, just like his mother."

"Son?" She chuckles, covering her other hand with his on her slightly swollen belly. "You do not want a daughter?"

"Abby said it was going to be a boy." He rolls his head down to rest it against her shoulder before planting soft kisses along her neck. "You think other wise?"

"Abby has yet to know a mother's intuition." Ziva points out, turning in his embrace to meet his lips against her's. It's soft, tender, and delicate. His hands glide along her spine just as her tongue strokes his body lip. She doesn't have to beg long before he gives her entry, his own tongue patiently awaiting until he can tangle with her's.

They pull back slightly breathless, his hand falling back to her stomach to feel the little peanut give another tap. "Good thing we still have another couple of months, becomes I'm hungry."

She chuckles in response, pulling him back in for another senseless kiss - neither of their hands faltering from her stomach.

Yeah,he never thought he'd be the type to settled down.


	21. U is for Utopia

_**Thank you for the reviews,favorites, and follows. - finally remembered that.**_

 _ **You weren't suppose to get a Tiva baby until the very last chapter, but I suddenly really wanted a Tiva baby...**_

* * *

. U is for Utopia .

She's asleep and drooling by the time he returns from the kitchen with two bowls of ice cream.

The fact that he was only gone for five minutes sets a new record for the Israeli-American who's in her second trimester. She's tried everyday after work, but refuses to ask for temporary leave...their kid is going to be a handful.

He steps towards her, trying to be as silent as possible because her ninja skills have been enhanced with what the new agent, Harvey, calls "mommy instincts". He supposes those instincts were what told her the correct gender of their baby.

The bowels get set down on the coffee table as he makes plans to lean forward and pick up his exhausted partner only for her chocolate gaze to snap open. It takes her a moment to realize it is only him and she offers him a small smile before patting at the empty couch space beside her. He takes the hint and lowers himself down, arm extending around her so she can rest her head against his chest while she captures his free hand to rest it on her tummy.

"Did you get my ice cream?" She questions through a sleep induced yawn, her eyelids are heavy but expectant causing him to chuckle as he tosses her a nod.

"I sure did and it smells terrible." He chuckles inching forward just the slightest to take her bowl and pass it to her, Ziva's former position is reestablished as she draws the spoon through eight different flavors.

"It tastes good though." She hums, taking the spoon to her lips. Her eyes immediately draw shut as she licks her lips with a soft moan. "Really good."

He chuckles in response, roaming a finger through her loose curls thankful that the pregnancy hasn't been too much of a struggle for her - especially adjustment wise. He had thought it would be hard for her to not be out in the field, but to his astonishment she didn't complain when he put her on desk work...perhaps the promise to let her question suspects had made things just a bit easier. Every now and then she would get a little frustrated, snapping at Tim or Abby...and most definitely himself. Ducky was her scapegoat though, they should really give him a fruit basket or five when this whole bumpy road is over.

"Tony?" Ziva's uncertain voice pulls him from his thoughts, but he already knows what she's about to say before it falls from those full lips. "There is a ring in my ice cream."

He continues his fingers through her curls, pretending to come up with some sort of response even if he knows exactly what is about to be said. "There is." The man nods in agreement finally drawing his hesitant gaze to her mesmerized chocolates. "I've planned about ten thousand different proposals and not one of them felt right," He scratches his stubble from the day as his gaze softens. "I also didn't want it to be one of those cliches," He shakes his head as he drums his fingers against the top of her scalp before allowing it to fall down with her waves. "So I figured that when the moment was right, I would just know...ya know? I was back there in the kitchen fixing your disgusting ice cream and I couldn't think of anything more perfect...you and me, finally after all of these years and now we got a little peanut on the way. Which, I am still shocked about because I had this whole idea about the wedding first and then the kid, but...I was fixing your ice cream and it just felt right. I didn't want to put you on the spot somewhere by me getting down on one knee so I settled for this, if you want to marry me you can put the ring on but if you don't then things don't have to change." His finger stalls in her hair, moving to stroke her bottom lip. "Either way, I still love you and nothing would ever change that."

"Tony..." She grins as a tear slides down her cheek which she ignores by claiming his lips to her's. She takes his breath away with that simple action, his heart skipping several more beats - if this is a heart attack he doesn't want it to end, but it does with her finger settling against his bottom lip. Her tears sail her cheeks and it takes everything he has not to reach up and wipe them. "Do not ever think I would refuse a proposal from you."

His heart does another _"boom bada boom boom bada boom"_ as he smiles genuinely towards her response. He strikes forward preparing to lock his lips with her's again only to be refused by her palm settling against his chest. "I do not think I could fit in a wedding dress though."

"They make wedding dresses for pregnant people, David." He scolds by taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles. "I love you so much...I know I don't say that nearly enough-"

"You say it everyday, every hour, every minute in everything you do. I love you too, Neshama." She claims his lips again and he immediately melts under her taste. While it might not be the perfect set up and while the world outside might not be all that great, inside the confines of their two bedroom apartment, he can't seem to think of a better utopia.

* * *

 _ **Hope that wasn't much of a disappointment.**_


	22. V is for Vow

_**Sorry for the longest delay ever [a few hours]. I really could not put this down into words...**_

 _ **It kind of sucks so...**_

* * *

. V is for Vow .

 _I promise to cherish you._

Not one moment in his life had ever prepared him for this one.

Beautiful, amazing, exotic, gorgeous, not one of those words came close to the way she looked in the thin wedding gown that undulated at the edge from the gentle breeze. He was awe struck, mesmerized and the nervous little jump he had been preforming automatically came to a halt the second he caught a glimpse of free blowing coffee curls. Wasn't she the most beautiful thing?

 _To make every moment with you count._

She started towards him slowly, his heart skipping about a million beats no doubt much like her own. The only melody they had was the hum in their heads and the syncing of aforementioned heartbeats.

As she draws closer and closer, his palms only grow sweatier and sweatier; is one suppose to be this nervous? He'd like to think so, especially when about to become the husband to a best friend, partner, lover, and soon to be child's mother. He grins as the thought enters his mind and her hand comes to rest upon the slight bulge; guess his eyes said it all.

 _To try and make you as happy as you make me._

It takes her exactly fifty steps to reach him. Fifty steps they plan to remember for the rest of their lives.

He can't contain the grin or the tears that willingly crash against the dirt covered earth when she steps beside him and a quick glance at her tells him she is just as impatient, excited, anxious, and nervous.

 _I vow to be the best husband and the best father because you have given me the world and I plan to give it right back to you._

She looks amazing, incredible, spectacular and once more not one single word comes close to the beauty that radiates from the woman before him. For eleven years it had been no one but them and now, this moment was finally for them. Not for the five figures to their left or for the bald priest to their right, but for them. Two souls who had danced around one another, teasing and bickering just to feed the desire of want. Now it was no longer wanting, but love and they were no longer apart.

 _I vow to love you even until after I give my last breath._

His breath catches in his throat as he listens to her promises, vows and the love pour from her heart out into the spring air where the closest people to them can witness.

He watches her breath catch as he pours his love, making promises that he intends to keep no matter the bumps on a never smoothly paved road.

Together they become one: established by a kiss.

...

It's been a total of two hours since she became Ziva DiNozzo and it's the fifth time he has swooped her into his embrace to glide along the wooded floor of the cabin where they plan to stay for the weekend. They only get a weekend for a honeymoon, it's the best they can do considering the little peanut will be born in exactly three months. Either way, it doesn't matter because now they have forever to spend with one another.

"She has been quiet today." Ziva hums against his neck, her breath tickling the area and he sighs peacefully as they spin slowly around the room.

"Well, she knows this day is for her mommy and daddy." He responds softly, hand following a gentle path down his wife's spine. His wife. He has to grin at the simple thought.

"Ninjas do not care who the day is for." She yawns, pulling herself as close to him as she can possibly get. "We should name her." The Israeli-American points out, her fingers roaming through his sandy tufts as they slowly began to lose themselves in this moment once more.

"We should," He nods in agreement, eyelids drawing shut as he begins to hum a familiar tune. "But tonight, is for us Mrs. DiNozzo."

Ziva snorts, drawing herself all the more closer. His musky scent holds her captive for the longest of moments as they do slow three-sixties with simple melody of Tony's hums, chirping crickets, and the far off call of an owl. Tonight is for them, she silently agrees as her own lids draw shut, the world can wait.

* * *

 _ **I have only ever been to one wedding and I was like four so my memory of that is just throwing the bird seed**_ _ **s.**_


	23. W is for Worry

_**I steer clear of baby fics so if someone else has that name then ya know...**_

 _ **Thank you for the reviews, favorites, and follows.**_

* * *

. W is for Worry .

The space next to him is nothing more than a ruffled mass of cream colored sheets; his wife is not there.

The sleep is rubbed from his hazel gaze with nothing but a look of worry. She should be in bed by now, even if she was restless when he decided to head off. It had been close to midnight then, but now it was 0200 and he was getting an uneasy feeling.

Flailing about aimlessly for the end of the comforter, he would give an exhausted yawn just as his hand latched to the end. Sheets and blanket would fly up into the air only to crumble down with much less grace. He turned about, looking around the room with squinted eyes in search of his wonderful bride whose appearance was clearly not here. His gaze immediately drifted to the balcony door that was slightly ajar, the curtains blowing in a hushed melody.

Tony rose to his feet, reaching for one of the free blankets on the bed - there was no telling how long his wife had been outside and though it had just barely started to grow warmer at night, no doubt crossed his mind that she wouldn't be cold. He took the path carefully, bare feet adapting to the cold wooded floor with each inching step. Eventually he reached the door, sliding it back with a gentle maneuver that caught the ears of his bride.

"I thought you were asleep." She frowned, turning to face him. Her hand was relaxed against her belly, something she did quite frequently these days in her third trimester; only two months now.

"I thought you were in bed." He pointed out, reaching behind him to draw the glass door shut to keep in the heat. "Here." He motioned with the blanket as he took a few cautious steps to her, uncertain of her current mood swing, before draping the blanket across her shoulders. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"Just thinking." She hums leaning her back against his bare chest as he wraps his arms around her, goosebumps finding themselves all around his exposed skin.

"Care to enlighten me?" His voice registers concern; whatever has kept her up has been important.

"Gibbs..." She trails off with a sigh, her hand moves to rest over his that has located itself on her belly. "He should have been at the wedding." For the briefest of seconds he hears the slight pain in her voice, the feeling of guilt that she still harbors greatly even against all everyone has tried to amend. He had hoped the baby would help heal the wound. "He should be here for her." The hand over his captures his and begins to move soft circles along the swollen mass. "He should be able to meet Adara." His wife sighs, leaning closer into him as a gentle breeze passes by.

He shivers with the breeze, his hand still caught in Ziva's as they continue to make invisible patterns against the fabric of her - technically his - shirt. The understanding of her words, he gets for many times he catches himself wanting to share some wonderful news with the man who had been their father. A man who could only be with them in memory instead of physically and emotionally like they most certainly needed.

He pressed a soft kiss to her chocolate scalp, trying to comfort her with his touch and love like he knew she currently needed but he knew the expression crossing her features was not only relied on by regret or guilt, but also self doubt. "Ziva, you are going to make a wonderful mother. How many times do I have to tell you?"

The faintest of sniffles makes itself known and he quickly runs his free hand down her arm while whispering soft "shhh's" against his wife's scalp. "I mean it, Ziva...no little girl is going to love you more."

"I am just afraid," Her voice cracks as she twists herself in his embrace, arms wrapping around his sides as his fall around her shoulders. "What if I fail her."

"You won't fail her, Ziva...you will make mistakes, but you will not fail her. Don't forget that...at lo levad." He caresses one of her loose curls as her sniffling subsides and her grip on his sides loosens as she pulls back to look at him. Chocolate eyes hold nothing but affection and love.

"I love you." She whispers as she leans up to touch her lips to his.

"I love you, too." He replies, closing the gap to be drawn into her exotic taste. She has every right to be worried about becoming a parent because he is too.


	24. X is for Xanthic

_**Hi, hi. Sadly this'll be the last chapter for the day.**_

 _ **I don't think I should enable a warning...so..just ya know...**_

* * *

. X is for Xanthic .

Xanthic buds sparkle in the first sunny day of two weeks, they topple along the headstone in irregular patterns. A gentle brush of an olive toned palm rustles the minuscule flowers, parting them ever so as she breathes out a sigh in the cleansed air. The palm follows suit, landing on a thin powder blue t-shirt that bulges with eight months.

It is the first time she has been out in two weeks, the rains have kept her husband on high alert fearful that she might slip; the contents are priceless after all - and that is not just the little bundle of their love growing inside of her.

Logical it seems, that she would get in the cooper to drive here first chance she could take from freedom of the confides of the two bedroom apartment. Her crepe hued lips purse as she feels the slight 'tap' of her darling child that will soon make an appearance in this world; to say mother is terrified is the least.

"We are naming her Adara Kelly DiNozzo." The corner's of her lips carve just the slightest as she shifts from her position, hoping to find a better settlement that will not hurt her back; pregnancy is taking it's toll. "I suppose Tony already told you that though." Chocolate irises plant themselves on the slab before her as if willing it to grunt.

No action takes place and she finds herself biting her bottom lip as she looks at the lines bestowed on the plaque; lines that will never truly honor thy father.

 _Leroy Jethro Gibbs_

 _May 2, 1958 - February 18, 2015_

There is nothing else, nothing more. No words could ever describe him, no words would've done him justice. She sighs as she strokes the carved lines, her hands shaking as she goes. "Tony says I should stop blaming myself." The woman draws in a deep breath, her hand falling silently back to the ground. "But I do not know if I can."

A sharp breeze blows, tangling her coffee curls before it subsides leaving with it a chill that leaves her feeling all the more hollow. As if on instinct her child bounces a bit, giving the nurturer a good kick as if a scolding. "This one will be feisty." Ziva chuckles running a soothing palm against the area that had felt her daughter move. "Tony is already planning movies for when she pops out." The tear falls before she can catch it and her throat suddenly tightens.

"I should have been here sooner...so much time has passed. I should stop blaming myself," She nods at the gravestone as if the words had come from him. "I just feel as though, I could have done something more." A frown claims her features as fingers clasp down around her swollen mass. "I could not save Eli and I could not save you. I really am trying, Gibbs..." Her bottom lip draws between her teeth once more, as she fights for more words - words that her and Gibbs never truly needed because they worked with the silence, not with their voices; much in the way her husband and her battled with eyes.

Drawing in another breath, she tilts her head to the car not a far ways off where she knows her husband is patiently awaiting her return. "He has given me so much, Gibbs. I could not ask for someone more perfect than him." She sighs peacefully as her palm rests against her belly again as she draws her chocolate speckled irises back to the plaque with a half-smile. "I will try, Gibbs. I will try." A brief brush of her index finger crosses the letters of his name as she holds up her free hand to signal her husband to come help her off the damp earth.

...

"You seem happier today." Tony comments pulling her to him with much ease, something he has gotten the hang of over these last eight months. "I like it." He smiles genuinely, planting a couple of kisses along her shoulder before roaming to her neck. The smile growing wider against the olive flesh as she moans in delight.

"I think it was the flowers." She manages to draw out as she sighs in contentment of her husband working his magical lips. She draws in a sharp, surprised breath when he connects his lips to her's which she immediately deepens until the need for oxygen becomes apparent.

They break apart, breaths coming out in short rasps as they rest their foreheads together. Smiles go all around as she gazes into his speckled greens and he evaporates in those soft chocolates. "Can you believe it?" She sighs, treading her fingers through his sandy tufts as her lids draw shut. "We are going to have a baby in only a few weeks."

"I still can't." He chuckles, hands roaming along her spine that arches beneath his touch. "Adara DiNozzo. We should pick a middle name, don't ya think?"

"I already have one." She smiles before pressing her lips to his again, losing herself in his taste and intoxicating musky scent.

He is breathless when they pull back, as she is too, evident in the way her chest heaves. His fingers lock with her curls, roaming the vast unknown as his brow furrows with the new piece of information. "Do I get to know it?"

"Mmm." His wife taps her chin as she untangles herself from her partner and starts for the bedroom. "Not yet."

"Can I at least get the story behind it?" He chuckles, tagging after her with a much quicker pace - if she were not pregnant he would swoop her up in his arms.

The corner's of crepe stained lips carve upwards as she remembers looking at the tombstone that held a family of three; Kelly just seemed right and a way to fight the guilt.

And perhaps also a way, to honor thy father.

* * *

 _ **Oh! Xanthic means yellow flower. Although, every writing program marks it red. lel**_


	25. Y is for Youngling

_This one is very short...I tried to make it longer, but I feel it has more meaning as it is._

 _Next chapter should be up in a bit! Have an amazing fourth of July!_

* * *

. Y is for Youngling .

Adara Kelly DiNozzo is nothing beyond perfection.

With two tiny blue eyes that have every possibility in becoming hazel or chocolate, a sharp curved nose that looks much like her father's, eyelashes that are already quite thick, full pink lips that purse with drool, two eyebrows that furrow that is nothing short of the image of her mother, ears that hang just a tad resemble the father, and short wisps of hazelnut brown that will in no doubt darken as she ages into coffee curls.

She is only six hours old and the infant's grip is already as fierce and heavy as her mother's.

Tony's free fingers run along her soft spoken cheeks, his own corners tilting up just the slightest as Adara's does on reflex _._

The woman beside him shifts, her disheveled curls falling across his shoulders as she leans into him. He can feel the smile on her lips as her chocolate gaze drifts between him and their daughter. She reaches out for his free hand, tightening her hold - of course not as tight as it had been when she brought forth their little bundle of life. "That is our baby."

Ten times she has said those four little words and ten times a nod was his only response due to his own emotion falling apart. _Their_ baby. Something that had always been a dream, but like their wedding it was made into a reality. He squeezes his wife's hand, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her temple just as their youngling opens her eyes.

"Tony," Ziva whispers almost breathless as she tightens their linked hands at the sight of their darling child's eyes. "brucha ha-ba' a la-olam." The woman whispers, running the backs of her fingers along the infant's cheek as Tony's smile grows all the wider because he can't help but to think, that the whole world is right here in his grasp.

* * *

" _B_ _rucha ha-ba a la -olam" - should mean "welcome to the world"._


	26. Z is for Ziva

_Just as I promised._

 _I don't think I need a warning for this..._

* * *

. Z is for Ziva .

He watched her carefully, with full interest as she brushed her palm over yellow buds that bounced upright at the gesture. Her hair cascaded in coffee waves, drawing him in and he would go to her. He would wrap his arms around her and sit with her as she cradles their young child in her arms but he knows she needs this moment, this moment to be with her father and their daughter.

His tongue falls across his lips, seeking moisture that has long since dispelled in the summer heat. Momentarily, his gaze diverts to the sunny cloudless sky above, watching as a few crows circle overhead before hazel irises fall back to his wife. He can hear her soft voice, breathing out into the thick air no doubt talking to their daughter or perhaps the deceased.

Tony bounces on the balls of his feet watching perfection as she runs a hand over the tombstone, before letting it fall back against the infant's cheek; his ears pick up one word, the only word he needs: _"Saba"._ His Hebrew is far from perfect, but he knows the meaning and it is enough to curve the corners of his mouth.

The oak tree branches high above sway in the passing of a gentle breeze as he shifts his position to lean against it.

Both of his girls are perfect, far more wonderful than anything he could have ever imagined.

He doesn't know what he did to deserve them; but he is so thankful he did it because not only does he have a gorgeous daughter who will in no doubt supply him with many years of good memories, but he also has the woman who has stuck by his side through so many turns of events. A woman who will never leave him and will love him even when he can't remember their story. He has the woman who was always within reach but never within hold.

Two lives have finally became one and he could never express into words how thankful he is that his life became one with Ziva.

* * *

 _And that's a wrap!_ _Hopefully that didn't disappoint you too much. I wasn't exactly sure of how I wanted it to end, so sorry if you thought it could have been better. This will NOT be my last Tiva story, so just stay tuned!_ _I thank you all so much for reading this story, it means a lot that people actually enjoyed it even when I was pretty certain it was the worse thing known to man...T_ _hank you once again and have a magnificent day!_


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